Die geheimen Tagebücher von einer verderbten Existenz

Behind these gates you will hear my thoughts screaming like nerves under the sun and feel my emotion laughing to the empty ether.
Welcome Dear Wanderer, make yourself at home.
The road is long and tortuous and I hope you enjoy yourself.

Fraternally Yours,
Poison Creeper

Friday, 29 June 2007

Gegen Die Wand [GE/TU 2004]

I was looking a couple of days ago online for Mona Mur tracks and I stumbled on the "Gegen Die Wand" [2004] soundtrack featuring "my men" by the above mentioned band.
Now the movie it has been defined on IMDB as a love story (in some comments left on the page)
here's the extract from the plot summary :

In St. Pauli, Hamburg, the alcoholic, drugged and hopeless German with Turkish roots Cahit Tomruk (Birol Ünen) lives like a pig in a small dirty apartment and survives collecting empty bottles in the night-club "Der Fabrik". One night, he gives up living, and hits his car against a wall. However, he survives the crash and is sent to a clinic, where he meets Sibel Güner (Sibel Kekilli), a younger German Turk, with suicidal tendencies. Sibel is the younger daughter of a conservative Turkish family, and proposes a fake marriage to Cahit, in order to permit her to leave her family; in return, she would share the rent of the flat, and she would cook and clean the place, and they could have independent lives. Cahit accepts, but while living with Sibel, he falls in love for her, until a tragedy happens.

Now, not much of the story itself but the soundtrack really surprised.
Alongside tracks of, I guess, Turkish artists (an not only) I found the already mentioned, Mona Mur (My Men) and also Sisters of Mercy (Temple of Love), Depeche Mode (I Feel You) and Birthday Party (HO HO HO).
this just made me curious to watch the movie to see how they managed to integrate the plot and those tracks that seem to be rather different in nature.
A track that caught my attention Mercan Dede - Ner i Ney I will be looking into that on a later stage, reminds me of Dust the Peter Murphy Album.

Here are some screenshots found online


And you can click on here to check out the TIMES REVIEW of the same RFA gig.

Click on the image to access the GUARDIAN review on the RFA gig of friday night !

P.I.L. - Don't ask me -

It was 1990, the only new song of the album "the Greatest Hits So Far" and 17 years later we are all getting really worried about the matter dealt in the song...funny enough... ! better later then never I say...

Don't Ask Me

Allan Dias/John Lydon/John McGeoch)

What you gonna do-when the river runs dry
Put your drills in the mud-and death up in the sky
You should have saved those bottles-
You should have saved those cans
You shouldn't ought'a listen to the plastic man
And there's no more toilet paper-it's gone just like the trees
Do you like the taste of honey-isn't it best without the bees
Be careful what you're dong-you're messing up my life
And if all the world's a cake-then you cut too big a slice

What's it all about-they scream and then they shout
Don't ask me-cause I don't know
What's it all about-they scream and then they shout
Don't blame me-I told you so

You read it in the papers-you hear it on the news
Very few listen-a spew without a view
And is it really worth it-choking on remote
I can see the red tide coming-but I don't even vote
Infection in the greenhouse-dizzy in the clouds
Oily as an ocean-heaven disemboweled
Still planning on a future-well lucky for some
You can develop your body-but your mind is still a slum


The product in the packaging-of multi-layered glam
150 layers of materials-to cover up a sham
Protecting my planet-wrap it in plastic
The package is product-perfected eternal
A crap in a cling wrap
I never met yet a prime minister or president
Who told the truth yet

Swimming in the surry-burning in the heat
Wind blown is the weather-I eat what you secrete
Climb the highest derrick-the circus has no prayer
No UFO to save us-and do we really care


KIss goodbye to the earth, the sun, the moon
It's easy to deceive a child

Thursday, 28 June 2007

Anthony Gormley blind Light 2

Anthony Gormley

Blind Lights
Something worth checking out!
17-May / 19-August


Artists for today...

Brian Eno
Click Click
Deception bay
Die Form
Dum Dum Dum
Fatal Microbes
Marc Bolan/ T-Rex
Norma Loy
People in Control
Rema Rema
Sonic Youth -
Television - Marquee Moon
The friendly Hopefuls
The Three Johns
The Wake
Throwing Muses
Twice a Man
Vomito Negro

The Owl - from a random site -

Magic, Omens, Wisdom

The owl is the symbol of
the feminine, the moon and the night.
The owl is the bird of magic and darkness,
of prophecy and wisdom.

The owl is associated with Athena.

An owl totem gives you the power
to extract secrets.
Meditate on the owl and things will be revealed.
Listen to its voice inside of you.

You will hear not what is being said by others, but what is hidden.
You can detect subtleties of voice that others cannot.
People cannot deceive a person who has an owl totem.

Owl people can see into the darkness of others souls.
Most owl people are clairvoyant because of this ability.
It can be very scary at times.
Learn to trust your instincts about people.
Let your owl totem guide you.

Snowy Owl:
Conserve your energy until the time is right; be observant of your surroundings.
Has the power of prophecy.

Barn Owl:
This totem reflects the ability to the heart and the mind.
It can connect you to spirits and the houses that they haunt.
Mediums and “ghost hunters” often have this totem.
This totem can give you very strong clairvoyant abilities.

Barred or Spotted Owl:
People with totem can appear threatening on the outside,
but are actually very benign.
This Owl can teach us how to use your voice to great effect.

Screech Owl:
Very courageous and ferocious, this Owl teaches you how to be a fierce individual
with an ability to cooperate with others.

Short-Eared Owl:
This Owl gives you the ability to show up at the right place –
to take advantage of opportunity.
The Owl represents a blend of fire and air; they stir a passion for life
and fire the inspiration.
They awaken the imagination.

Great Horned Owl:
This Owl is a fierce protector.
It is the lunar opposite of the Red-Tailed Hawk (who represents the Sun).
Gives the ability to adapt to constant changing environments.
The harbinger of Spring.

Does not have a good sense of smell and may impart this trait to its totem people.

Wednesday, 27 June 2007

Genesis P Orridge Interview. part2

Genesis P Orridge Interview.

Mona Mur - Biography -

From the official site:

Vocalist Mona Mur - born in Hamburg to Polish parents - first graced the German music scene in 1982. In her quest for the angry sound of her times she soon hooked up with FM Einheit, Marc Chung and Alex Hacke of Einstürzende Neubauten. As "Mona Mur & die Mieter" they recorded the 12inch "Jeszcze Polska", straight away conquering NEW MUSICAL EXPRESS's Single of the Week slot. Distinctly averse to commercial success the group decided to disband after their first release.

Mona Mur lived a wild life in Paris and Berlin, which shaped the black sides of her following musical projects. Together with Einheit, Hacke, organ virtuoso Nikko Weidemann ("Flucht nach Vorn"), bassist Th. Stern ("Crime and the City Solution") and Siewert Johannsen ("Stricher") she started a new incarnation of Mona Mur in 1985, playing many concerts in the Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden, Bremen (with "Sonic Youth") and Berlin - foundation stones for her cult image until today. Then she finished her first proper album ("Mona Mur", 1988, RCA) with the help of Dieter Meier ("Yello"), JJ Burnel and Dave Greenfield ("Stranglers").

In 1990 Mona Mur and Dieter Meier hired the Warsaw Philharmonic Orchestra and Polish rockstar and producer Grzegorz Ciechowski ("Republica") for their Album "WARSAW" (unreleased at the time). Mona decided to take a break from singing and turned her energy to Taekwondo, achieving the 3rd DAN. She entered the German National Team and became International German Vice Champion twice.

She also became composer and audio designer for computer games shaping a uniqe eerie style of electronic instrumental tracks. Director Fatih Akin used three of her songs for his much-awarded film "Head On / Gegen die Wand".

Today, Mona Mur is back to singing and performing. Her recent CD-compilation "Into Your Eye", a retrospective collection of her more than 20 years of work, not only contains the typical 80s punk wave elements of her music and some of the orchestrated Warsaw - tracks but also new dark wave songs written and produced with multi-instrumentalist Christian St. Claire. Under the influence of his harmonical lucidity Mur's aggressive existentialistic soundworlds gain a new transcendental layer.

In 2007 the fans of the 80s Mona Mur see a drum'n bass - industrial - transformation of her undergroundhits ("Snake", "Surabaya Johnny", "Eintagsfliegen") by programmer und guitarist EN ESCH (ex"KMFDM", "Slick Idiot") as well as their live-presentation by Ms Mur, En Esch and organ man Weidemann.

Their myspace page: www.myspace.com/monamur

I Dreamed a Dream

Look before you leap, okay?
Do you read me?
May all your dreams come true
He's standing by the door
He's got something in his hands
All the money's gone
All the money's gone
The days we spend, go on and on
Fucking youth
Working youth
May all your dreams come true

A lot of people suffer
From impotence
All the money's gone
The days we spend go on and on

Fucking youth
Working youth
Fucking youth
Working youth
Fucking youth
Fucking youth
Working youth [Lee]
You slept
Did I drift?
Do I dream?
Do you read me?
I'm not speaking
Do you read me?
I dream

I dream

Sound today are you sound today
are you sound today?
Sound today are you sound today
are you sound today?
These things don't happen
I dream
Edith moves each step
Fucking youth
The days we spent go on and on
I dream
Do you read me?

Sonic Youth The First LP.

Sonic Youth - Sonic Youth [ 1982 ]

Amazing album.

I Don't Want To Push It / The Good And The Bad // The Burning Spear / I Dreamed I Dream / She Is Not Alone

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

Todays Music

Sonic Youth - 1st album
Violent Femmes - various tracks
Jesus and Mary chain - Automatic
PIL - Second Edition
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Joint Hands
Lou Reed / Velvet Underground - Velvet underground and nico
Throwing Muses - Hunkapa
Tones on Tail - Various tracks
Xmal Deutschland - Devils
Zoundz - the Curse of Zounds

Devils - Xmal Deutschland -



The album that made me apreciate Xmal


As soon as I get my head round you
I come around catching sparks off you
I get an electric charge from you
That second hand living it just won't do

And the way I feel tonight
I could die and I wouldn't mind
And there's something going on inside
Makes you want to feel makes you want to try
Makes you want to blow the stars from the sky
I can't stand up I can't cool down
I can't get my head off the ground

As soon as I get my head round you
I come around catching sparks off you
And all I ever got from you
Was all I ever took from you

And the world could die in pain
And I wouldn't feel no shame
And there's nothing holding me to blame
Makes you want to feel makes you want to try
Makes you want to blow the stars from the sky
I'm taking myself to the dirty part of town
Where all my troubles can't be found

Also click here for the pictures I found on the web on the friday night gig at the London Festival Hall and Coachella Festival



omg! I can't believe it!
Jesus and Mary Chain announced another gig at Brixton Academy 07/09/07
yes, I am going! I have the tickets!
can't believe it.


on another front also got tickets for:
@ The Astoria


Monday, 25 June 2007

First Blog - A brief Message -

After having spent the whole of the Sunday thinking/smoking pampering myself and my other half, I finally realized that what I needed it was just a change of set, a jump into a new un-polluted territory.
Traveling the net I discovered in fact an un-polluted area where I am able to concentrate on my own targets and follow my own Will without negative vibes always ready to jump on me behind every corner.

Everyone, allowed to read this blog, will be able to leave a mark of his/her presence by commenting the page or the posts that I made.

Saturday, 23 June 2007

and the world keeps turning around
and on and on and on ...

I had almost forgotten how nice it is walking under the rain with music in my ears.
I realised that I missed those damp days when nothing counts more than a drop of an eyelid.
I remembered the smell of the rain and the smell of the damp soil.
The sensation of humid clothes against the skin, like wet latex gloves.


and the world keeps turning around
and on and on and on ...

I wanna vanish in the noise of a sinking drop in a pool of mud.
for ever

A Gloomy Day: a Happy Day


Barber Wire Kisses




All day, over and over and over again.
I had forgotten how pleasant were those notes that tickle my stomach every time they get played by Jim and William.
Most probably because of the gig missed I had the need to listen to them for an intense period of time: that was also probably due to me being in a transitory phase of my life.

Being held up in the air in a bubble
floating over people's heads, over people's problems and affairs.
Silence only the music is leading the bubble somewhere, like a strong and smooth flow of water.
Like a river taking turns and slowing down to then take faster again.
All with a soft sensation of trust.
Going with the flow and finding again the will I had temporally lost.
A gloomy day.
a happy day.
a salacious smile tends the lips
of someone that finally was with herself again.


Wednesday, 20 June 2007

Am I being realistic or just impulsive?

I am being quite resolute and for once I am being realistic.
Since the main group split up (3 years ago) I have been trying to recreate what I thought it would be my family here.
Trying to get people together, have a strong support for the musical scene and have support for EACH OTHERS when in need.
All I got has been hypocrisy, lies, bitching. I have been victim of it all and worst of all I have been witness of all of the above mentioned!
I see in front of my eyes every night we go out a layer of greasy falseness.
Everyone I know ended up being sucked into this, me included!!!
I realised I ended up being exactly what I didn't want to be, what I have never been, what I am NOT.
I eneded up playing that game and that is what made me sick and be controversial towards people and events really.
I have decided now not to dance that song anymore, I might be turning the profile into a private one.

I will play my tunes in my own place, get FEW people to dance, that will be our refuge from the rest of the "scene".
fuck that!

It sucks really I don't know who to believe anymore, who's being sincere and who's not.
How can I know that that they are being sincere with me if they bitch about others WITH me? couldn't they do the same with other about me?
that's the whole point.
I say things in the face and I don't even get a REACTION! just silence which is simptom of something that urge to be said by somebody that doesn't have the guts to discuss things or just doesn't want to say because he would loose something out of it.
and I call it hypocritical.

Friendship? does anybody give a fuck ?

Is there anyone out there that has sense of group?
few maybe.
I often find myself trying to get a group of people to move together as one, trying to get people to meet and running up and down calling everyone to get them to come out and enjoy the security and protection that a united group of Friends usually gives, hang out have FUN TOGETHER.
I end up being with people not able/WILLING to listen to eachother, bitching, always in competition with others, people not able to say things in the face, self centred individuals, egoists, people that expect from you lots and give nothing, people that ASSUME an answer before asking the question.

is this what it is all about?
where's the unity supposed to make US stronger?
where is the US in friends?
where's the capital F in the word Friends?
Friendship is what keeps me going, is what lasts for ever, that is the real Friendship.
where's the collaboration, where the sense of group?
where's all that ?
it is probably been left entangled forgotten in the threads of my teenage years.

does anybody believe in that anymore?
I am feeling deeply deluded by the people around me, few of them get it, very few.

is there anybody out there that actually gets what I mean?

Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Jesus and Mary Chain - Barbed Wire Kisses - random thoughts -

It is not just the imminence of the gig and the fact that I will miss it with 99% of the chances...as I don't have the tickets, that made me listen non stop to Barbed Wire Kisses by the Jesus and Mary Chain.
The best Album they have ever compiled.
Always makes my heart squeeze at every single note they play.
The good chances of Having to go back home empty handed on the 22nd will be one of the most depressing thing I will have to face.

The first thing I ever owned of them it was the original tape of the same album, found in some market stalls in Rimini in Italy during one of my travel in 96, it filled my summer of emotion that I had never felt before.
I felt like somebody, finally, had been able to speak for me through their painfully felt lyrics.
It was like entering finally the emotional stage of my life that sees my inner feeling fullfilled.
They have been the key that opened my eyes towards the "underground" scene, always thought about "sidewalking" as the track that express at its best the state of mind that never abandoned me.
and my love for bikes...

Chilled to the bone and five miles to home
I'm messing in the dark and feeling all alone
I got ice in my fire got the heat in my wire
Inject a little heat I'm burning up the tyres

Sidewalking sidewalking sidewalking sidewalking
Talking like I'm on and I'm the only one
I'm making like I'm done and staring like a gun
And I gotta get a car and I gotta get a ride
Gotta get a car got jesus on my side

Sidewalking sidewalking sidewalking sidewalking

Messing in the dark and walking all alone
Alone in the streets I know just where I'm going

Sidewalking sidewalking
Chilled to the bone Chilled to the bone
Hot wired heat all the way home

Going to see them it would be, without any doubt, the achievement of my lifetime.
it almost makes me cry just thinking about being there watching them.
My previous and only experience in regards to the JAMC was when I went to see only Jim Reid down in east london for a John Peel Tribute, but he was too drunk to be able to sing :p (not even realising that the guitar was unplugged!).

awww I wish I I knew it before about that as much as I knew it several month ago it was already too late to get the tickets...