Die geheimen Tageb├╝cher von einer verderbten Existenz

Behind these gates you will hear my thoughts screaming like nerves under the sun and feel my emotion laughing to the empty ether.
Welcome Dear Wanderer, make yourself at home.
The road is long and tortuous and I hope you enjoy yourself.

Fraternally Yours,
Poison Creeper

Tuesday, 31 July 2007

Monday, 30 July 2007

Hastings, July2007

Just a taste of Hastings, these are low res pictures if you want to see the whole album click on any of the images below :)

Lydia Lunch lyrics from Smokes in the shadows

Lyrics from Smoke in the Shadows

[click on image or the line above to access the official site]


Back from Hastings and back to work.
Kinda sad...;p
we have been told that we were missed on friday..I wonder by whom we were missed...or it was just because the place was kind of empty (we were told).
Hastings, although a bit difficult to live as a Alternative/Gay couple as they were looking at us like we were aliens, it was really really nice.
Exactly what I needed, 2 days out and about.
A bit of trekking over the cliffs, the visit to the Caves, to the Underwater World and a nice day on the beach (certainly not those Italian beaches but still enjoyable, I wouldn't have enjoyed the sand anyway!).
The Weather was kind of chilly and it was very windy.
I missed the seagulls and the sea breeze, and my lungs misses it too ;p
We will be certainly going back there, plenty of picture taken I will be able to upload some (the best ones) into a virtual photoalbum so that we can share the visuals :)
I added also on here a link for my calendar so if you click just underneath the personal photo album on the Calendar link you will be able to see what we are up to this months and not only :)
Almost forgot we did vynil shopping :) so came back with some Jesus and Mary Chain 7" and Magazine 12", Squeeze 7" and some others...still have to listen to them :)

Welcome back to me !

PS I hate mondays

Thursday, 26 July 2007


Added pictures on Deviantart. Click on the images to see them ;)

self obsession

Added a new photo album with some pictures of me ;)

just to be shallow a bit ;p

will be putting anyway a permanent link of those somewhere around the profile table.

for those curious click on the image ;)


Just a few lines to say that the newsletter will be sent today and not tomorrow due to the fact that myself and my lovely half will be in Hastings for the weekend.
Watch out for pictures from my bday and from the weekend, later on this week.

love is the law

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

last night and all that comes with it.

cozy, homelike feeling.
Few, good friends.
We went to see a friend performing in a pub Viva Viva in Hornsey: Brandon Jacob from Neils Children and his solo project (Goodnight and I wish).
For most of the night the pub was experiencing technical problems and there was no electricity whatsoever.
Brandon had to do a "unplugged set with" no microphone but he had a good support (including the 6 of us) and even if he wasn't a happy bunny at all we were and we all enjoyed his set.
Around 11 we made a move towards "Sanctuary" a new alternative night @ Catch22, a gay club in Turnpike Lane for a dance and few drinks as far as I am concerned lol
We met up with Roby and Sindy
You see?, I didn't drink for quite a long time and in less than half an hour I managed to get drunk with 2 tequilas and a J&D :D !
I was so happy I could see them after such a long time (Sindy and Roby)
really really nice atmosphere and excellent djset! I really enjoyed it last night and I am looking forward to the next one and it really feels like that we will be regulars on those nights at least :)

Pictures have been taken but will be posted later on as tonight we'll be going to watch Harry Potter with my best mate and gf
I am dead tired but happy :))


Lost World - Lyrics - Lydia Lynch

From "Smoke in the Shadows"

Everybody smokes in Hell...

up pops the devil with a belly full of tricks
offers you the world if you gives his tail a kiss
got a big red sack full of your favorite things
pulls you by the hair shoves some hair in your mitts
takes you at the bar, buys you drinks all night
gets you so damn high you'll never know its spiked
up pops the devil and you can't refuse
got a one way ticket and its just for you

everybody smokes in Hell ..

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

ok ok
today its a bit of a weird day for me, my bday yeah ok thank you all for the greetings received.
I got a text message from my mum this morning reminding me that I had just born at 8.30am and I was a month earlier than planned (yeah 8 months) and now I al 29 years later!
that made me shed few tears.
and then I got at work and I received an email from my daddy sending me a picture of a bday cake saying that this year we will have to settle with a "virtual cake and celebration"
As soon as I woke up I got a text from my grandma, the best grandma ever. (that's her with my Cousin)
Sad but true and I miss them all.

my bro ;p
my Dad
I don't have pictures of my mum right here, she never liked pictures and its so difficult to get one of her!

Sunday, 22 July 2007

One of my favourite flowers ...

I. The Sacred
"She heard no sound before her gate,
Though very quiet was her bower.
All was as her hand had left it late:
The needle slept on the broidered vine,
Where the hammer & spikes of the passion-flower
Her fashioning did wait."

II. And the Profane
"Oh, cut me reeds to blow upon,
Or gather me a star,
But leave the sultry passion-flowers
Growing where they are.

I fear their sombre yellow deeps,
Their whirling fringe of black,
And he who gives a passion-flower
Always asks it back."

[click on the images to access infomrmation about the symbolisn of the Passion Flower, Passiflora Caerulea]

The Tate Modern and The Thames Picture Gallery

Few images from Southwark, the Thames and Tate Modern including a couple from my mate's house in Island Gardens. ;p
Went for a visit down south and then to the Tate to pick Vale up meeting with 2 friends from (and met in)Amsterdam.
Went for a pizza afterwards and then back home.
Such a beautiful day ;)

A birthday present...

Friday, 20 July 2007





Left of the Dial

Interesting musical Ezine worth to checked out, I will also put it in my music link section just here on the left :p

Today's Soundtrack

Clock DVA - Thirst
Diatribe - ? [couldn't find anything worth to be linked...yet]
Finger Tips - Ramshackle!! [couldn't find anything worth to be linked...yet]
I'm so Hollow - Emotion sound motion [link1 - Answers.com]
Missing Presumed Dead - Hows your bum for cracking? / Revenge [link1 with infos on the transmitters too]
PTV - Dreams Less Sweet
The Tapes - You just can't sleep [link1 with also random info on Dutch Postpunk and art punk]
They Must be Russian - Beats Working For a living/ Chains Ep [link1 windowsmedia.com]
Transmitters - 12" ep [link1 discogs.com]
1.000 Mexicans - Dance Like Ammunition

I will be adding links to those bands that I discovered recently and listened at just today.
All downloaded from the links I added at the bottom of this Blog. (other bloggers' blogs )
really interesting bands and there's more to discover.
There's not much infos about those bands around as they are usually one hit wonder or slightly more than that...
we'll see, I will be looking for 'em anywhere. :)
will keep you posted.

Thursday, 19 July 2007

Quotes about Writing [Extract]

There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you.
Z.N. Hurston

The reason for evil in the world is that people are not able to tell their stories.
Carl Gustav Jung

Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us all without words?
Marcell Marceau

Give them pleasure. The same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.
Alfred Hitchcock

No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
Robert Frost

I don't pretend we have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about.
Arthur C. Clarke

A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
Friedrich D├╝rrenmatt

If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The human mind is like umbrella. It functions best when open.
Max Gropius

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Oscar Wilde

Suit the action to the word, the word to the action.
William Shakespeare

Invent your own mythology or be slave to another man’s.
William Blake

Observe, don't imitate.
John M. Ford

The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.
Linus Pauling


Music for Today

Zounds – The Curse of Zounds

Jesus and Mary Chain – Darklands

Sonich Youth – Daydream Nation

ATV – the Image has Cracked

V.A. - Night of the Banshee

Big Black – Song about Fucking

Uk Decay – The Singles

Xmal Deutchland – Devils

PS I am just waiting for a minute to be able to upload some mp3 in the standalone player I will be adding to the blog, stay tuned soon I will be able to put music on here and direct links to download pages :)

Looks like another fairly busy day for me today, hopefully not as busy as yesterday and that would mean be able to go out for lunch and don't skip it as I did previously :P

Anyways, I went to see "le Vie En Rose" the story of Edith Piaf.
I started crying half way through and finished when I was in bed at home and that meant the whole trip by tube from Camden to Woodgreen :p
Prior my recent delusion on the music scene/people involved in it more than anything else, seeing the life of a person that was so passionate about it really felt like salt on an open wound.
music is life and life is music.
"what would you do if you couldn't sing anymore? - I would Die " that is one of the phrases that really moved me.
I just wish I could have met such a person.
Amazingly sad and true story about a girl that found the strength into her voice more than anything else.
Morphine to sooth the pain on her back in order to be on stage because "they are calling" and wanted to hear her singing.
Slave of her own voice, mistress on the stage.
That expression on her face and that shy look in the eyes betrayed that frail soul that was hiding behind that party animal mask she had on in public.
Shaking hands and lost look like somebody living in her own world made of musical notes.
"she needs those challenges" on stage, singing challenging her under-developed body to stay up until the very end.
which she did and she died alone with her dreams.
Such a rare person to find, such a fine voice to hear.

Tuesday, 17 July 2007

Todays Artists :)

Swans [ Various Failures]
Rema Rema [ Rema Rema]
Magazine [ Where the Power Is]
Sonic Youth [ Ciccone Youth]
Lydia Lunch [Hysterie]
Crisis [ We Are All Jews and Germans]
Danse Society [ The Society Collection]
Gang of Four [A brief History of the Twentieth Century]
Ghost Dance [Gathering Dust]
Grauzone [Die Sunrise Tapes]
Iggy Pop China Girl/Nightclubbing/Louie Louie
Inca Babies Bus Breaker/The Judge
Krisma - Many Kisses
Malaria! [Compiled]
Persona Non Grata [Our Shade of Sin]
Pigface - Ten Grounds and Down
Phsychedelic Furs - Pretty in Pink
P.I.L. [Second Edition ]
Richard Hell and the Voidoids [Blank Generation]
The Germs - [Mia the Compilation]
The Teardrop Explodes [Kilimanjaro]
The Wake [Harmony and Singles]
Vapours - Turning Japanese

Swans - In The eyes of Nature- [from Various Failures- Red]

No We Have Never Been Here
And We'll Never Be Gone
I Saw Your Voice Rise Up
And Cut Into The Heart Of The Sun
I Kissed The Lips Of A Girl
She Took Her First Breath When The World Was Young
I Felt The Cold Of The Air As It Burned By Empty Lungs
And We Have Never Been Born
And We Will Be Consumed
And Unreality Is Buried Beneath The Truth
And Though We've Never Been Here
We Will Never Be Contained
And Reality Is Naked Beneath The Moon

So We'll Go Down To The Ocean
And Wash Our Memory Clean
We'll See The World For The First Time
Through An Unburied Eye
And Though The World Will Stay The Same
And We're Certain To Die
We'll Raise Our Hands Up To Heaven
And Sacrifice Our Limitations
And The Pain And Frustration
Are Equal To The Bliss Of Release
And In The Eyes Of Nature
We'll Live For An Eternity
And In The Eyes Of Nature
We Could Never Have Been Born
And The Light That Surrounds Us
Will Take Us Into It's Arms
And When We Die We'll Disappear
Into The Eyes Of Nature
And We're Here Just For A Little While
And Then Our Body Disappears

Into The Eyes Of Nature
Into The Arms Of God
Into The Mouth Of Indifference
Into The Eyes Of Nature
And We Are Nothing But Experience
In The Eyes Of Nature
And We Will Live Forever
In The Eyes Of Nature

Monday, 16 July 2007

Offending Article -The Poison Girls-

Substitutes for human love. Less risky than a human relationship. And when the 'affair'
is over you can always put your pet to 'sleep'. An affair of convenience. The convenience of the dominant species.Capture. Domesticate. Exterminate.

Alongside the exploitation of animalsfor laboratory experimentation, the pet and petfood industry is enormous, feeding off our alienation from each other. Sentimentalizing animals to fit in with our deprivation and need for love, physical contact, and control. So the prettiest and most appealing pets are fed and pampered in return for companionship and obedience. Where have we heard that story before? The Miss World
contests? The pretty docile pets of male sexist fantasy.
Capture. Domesticate. Exterminate.

A new girl every year. A new wife every seven year itch. And the Nazis who selected the pretty Jewish girls for their
brothels in the concentration camps. They murdered the old and the ugly. Discarded
them to use their bodies for soap, lamp- shades and even to feed their guard dogs.
I was a young girl child in the second world war. All men were soldiers. I couldn't tell from their almost identical khaki uniforms which were 'ours' and which were 'the enemy'. Some of them came home on leave and mingled their tales of fighting on the front with snickering stories about the reputed brothels of Port Said, where the prostitutes were offered side by side with donkeys, who were screwed and abused just like the women were. Extra, extra thrills and treats. I couldn't understand the hot-eyed glances and laughter at these stories. I was frightened. I am still frightened. And of course male military macho ethics
approved of these brothels rather than encourage homosexual contact between
The ranks. Military regimes are terrified of love developing between soldiers. Balls
Must mean toughness and courage. But the bullet rips through and reveals the
Vulnerability of male flesh. Almost as tender as a woman? Almost as vulnerable? They dare not admit that possibility

Listen. Butchers are men. The master Race. Manipulators. Tormentors.
Manufacturers of meat. Think about it. You rape and plunder the entire range of living Creatures. You train the young to follow in Your footsteps by word and by deed. Give Up your knives. Take instead the Vulnerability of your own body. Your
Fragile penis. Cherish love between men and man. Learn the tenderness of your
own genitals before you so carelessly pene-trate the bodies of young and fertile girls.
Learn first the mysteries of contra-ception and love and respect. In the meantime do not be surprised if the rest of us rise up and turn against you. We can invoke nightmares of revenge worse Than you can imagine. And the woman may rise up who will have her knife. And in the name of life she will take up her knife, and, castrating, will avenge even the the least laboratory rat that, discarded, ends up in the tin of Pal you
may feed your pet tomorrow morning

Sunday, 15 July 2007

Scarlet drops fell on shower floor,
first they played with the hot water and then disappeared within it
I looked down and my legs where stained of my essence.
Vermillion thoughts in my head
and red water at my feet.
My nature bled and
my desires were leaking lust.


The cold weather seems have frozen the bad sensation these days,
When I looked out of the window, with my eyes still half closed, the white shimmering of the snow from the roof in front of the kitchen window made me blind for a fraction of a second.
It seems that everything stood still, finally.
I could actually look at the world surrounding me as if I was I was not part of it.
A little bird was hiding on a naked branch of a bush.
The air was crystal white and nothing was moving.
I walked out in the white, on my way to work and I still couldn't believe
the peace that was penetrating me.
It seems that the cold, the ice and the snow froze
everything bad that I went through in the last week or so
I smiled and anxiety was forgotten,
walked down the road and looked at the park
'Why can't I be like those trees?' I thought.
'why can't I be like them, so silent and wise?
so steady and calm?'
It was like walking of glass.
hear the cracking of the frozen leaves under my boots.
I could forget my griefs and accept the pain
I could absorb the stillness and make it my strenght
I could embrace the time and become, maybe, a little wiser.
I just wish that this feelings would never melt.

Friday, 13 July 2007


Right, this is a thought unrefined that I scribbled on my diary whilst on the tube coming back home after this busy friday.
I did talk to a friend about this and then I was thinking at the how-s and why-s concerning it.

I am sorry to go back to that same subject, many might be bored of reading/listening to my rants about it, but it is really really something that I take very close hearted and therefore I can't get over it unless I find a logical/psychological pattern in it and its reason to be.

It is, maybe, just easier to follow a crowd and "fight" for the official recognition by the masses (or the rest of the world, the mainstream-ers yeah?) using exactly those tools once refused and criticized as CAUSE of such things like the loss of individuality typical of our society.
In my opinion It is all just a counter sense !!
Not wanting to be called "outcasts" as if the alternative scene did have a place amongst pop music and community once.
By definition ALTERNATIVE is "pertaining to unconventional choices" (looked it up in Google) it also implies the possibility of choosing amongst different options instead of the "official" one (i.e. an alternative path).

I wouldn't think that those REALLY believing in this basic definition could have used such CONVENTIONAL means such as aesthetics criteria and advertising to get the scene known to ALL! [allowing those blinkered ones to take more the piss out of it/us!! ]

It looks like, tho, that it has fallen into this situation since groups of people define themselves "alternative" but still are looking for an OFFICIAL recognition of the "scene" and acceptance of it trough those means.
What it used to be, what it still should be is that the "scene" should be supported by SOLIDARITY amongst the people (those freaks ;p) and the means used should be just word of mouth and simple essential COMUNICATION.
Not fancy magazine with hot models on the cover, nor fancy plastic props in clubs nor colored and plastified flyers.
Black on white, strong words and sharp concepts are left forgotten in our past.

"WE ARE GODS UNWANTED CHILDREN, SO LETS BE IT"! [a quote from Fight Club that sums it all up! ;p]

The underground scene it was born as reaction to what the system was/IS feeding us with, in any circumstances, in any time and in any place.
Something HIDDEN and rare to find is PRECIOUS and that WAS it. That still IS for few of us...I haven't lost ALL the hope! ;p.
The "alternative" or "underground" terms now, for many don't mean much if not something "outrageous" and "different" which is not that different anymore from what Kate Moss or Destiny's child or Take That ever did!
They are just terms that, when brought out in the sun, loose their unique, oroginal meaning that makes them so precious.

Its hard to keep on fighting in the everyday life, be it with the look at the people in the streets or the inability of finding a job due to not LOOKING as THEY want you to look but it also makes it all worth it.
We are reminded by everything and everyone that we are the freaks afterall and we should live this as a compliment!
Those who don't consider it as such are missing the whole principle that gave birth to the underground movement itself! :)

Now this was a rant, hope that was in somewhat clear because it is very complicate and it is indeed very difficult to explain.

sorry about that ;p

Thursday, 12 July 2007

I decided to get finally started on DeviantArt :) i have been having the profile for ages but never actually posted anything...so for those interested...heres the addy!


there will be posted all the stuff that I do hopefully this weekend I will get the pics of Highgate uploaded...
and maaaaybe will be able to do some photo manipulation too ...


Today Track List

Jesus and Mary Chain - Automatic
Lydia Lunch - Smoke in the Shadows
Magazine - Where the Power is
Neils Children - Demand the Impossible
Opera De Nuit - Opera de Nuit
Red Lorry Yellow Lorry - Talk about the Weather
Rema Rema - Rema Rema
Section25 -Always Now
SigloXX - Re-Released 80-82
The Wake -Harmony & Singles
Norma Loy - Normalised

dreams can hurt,
dreams can heal
dreams can make your wishes real

A thousands words
a thousand thoughts
none of them clearly heard

by those awake
that patiently wait
for the beginning of one
and the end of another day.

picture taken from DeviantArt [click to the image to be redirected to the source]

Tuesday, 10 July 2007


soon a guestbook will be added :)

Give me Hell - Jesus and Mary Chain -

Gimme hell gimme hell gimme hell
She said as she fell
Tongue tied tongue tied tongue tied
She could never lie
So come on little sugar
Let me get your soul
Dig deep crazy like a success show
She can't bawl and she can't shout
She can't bawl and fuck it out
Gimme hell she gives me hell
I'm fucking up anyway
Well I've been good
And I've been mean
And I've been looking for a Coke machine
So come on

Down to my memory lane...

Today being a long, busy at times boring, cloudy day.
My mood is not in a better state at the moment.
I don't want to work anymore!!!!!!
Tonight I will upload some picture of Highgate Cemetery (including the park and its flowers + animals)
I tried to book the train tickets with southern rails but it seems impossible to book the cheapest one (which was showed in the nat enquirers site).
I will have to telephone a premium number.
I am tired and not in the best of the moods.
I have been better lately.


Yesterday we went to see Jake, Rosie and Joe and had a nice english soup and garlic bread.
Tonight Alessio and Felicia will come along to bring us Bunny.
Yes we will have that evil charming beautiful feline in the house again whilst they will be on a long and deserved holiday.
I needed a cat at home... :))

I was also browsing through random pictures on my photobucket profile and I found this:
One of my fondest moment I shared with Alan.
Wonder where he is now.
That was Germany 2004 @ Greenie's mother with Cassie, Alan and Andrea. in the garden trying to recover from the crazy trip that would have brought us in the nxt 2 days in Paris and then back to London after having visited Frankfurt and its hills (where the picture was taken)and previously Leipzig for the WGT.

or even this: Andy's b'day at Micky's about 3 years ago...
good memories of heady days...I can't recall whether that was before the WGT 2004 tho ;p

Monday, 9 July 2007

Today's listening

Lydia Lunch (w/ DNA, MARS, Beirut Slump. Roland S Howard, Teenage Jesus etc..) Histerie (1976-1986) LP
8 Eyed Spy (Lydia lunch) - 8 Eyed Spy LP
V.A. - NYC No Wave LP
Jesus and Mary Chain - Automatic LP
Section25 - Always Now LP
Sonic Youth - Sonic Youth (1st album) LP
The Doors - the Best of cd2 LP
The Wake - Harmony & Singles LP

Saturday, 7 July 2007

Amsterdam pictures as promised! :)

Finally! :) here are some pictures from the 'Dam! if you click on the image you will be brought to the main full size picture :) Enjoy!

Entering the Sex Museum on Damrak

Down The Road in the Red Light District and the Old Amsterdam

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Scarlet and The Spooky Spiders Live @ Living in Oblivion!

our host just below : Miss Fortune Dj (we love ya!)
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And this is Stampo :) a friend from Sweden!

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A friend met on the streets and The Canals
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The Day After... foood and rain !!!!
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