Cinicism is always creeping and I can feel its cold slimey touch up my spine everytime I feel some hope burning under the ashes but I'll have to deal with it and live with it.
I think after this last full moon weekend, I had gone through YET another stage of my process of separation from my past, people, memories, hopes and things I couldn't let go for some reason or another.
With this I do not mean cutting contacts but just accepting their presence and adopt indifference as a mean of defence. I had managed to do it for some but I still had some others which I was finding difficult (virtually impossible) to do but now I think the "ignore list" got slightly longer now.
Concentrate on who cares and IGNORE those who don't.
I have to work on it, it's not easy to accept the surprise of realising that those who, you once thought being special and above anybody else in the world, show themselves as they really are: as low as the majority of the human race.
An emotionally challenging night,that was, very much so !! but on the other hand it was a highily satisfying one indeed.
First of all professionally speaking and not only. I had realised that I wasn't too nervous anymore before the set, dj'd from about 11.30pm to around 4am filling in the gaps between a band and the other, got some people to dance and got some praises too, free drinks and spliffs by random people. Appreciation from those who were there and I also started to devolop some hardskin towards certain individuals, which is very good.
I have managed to play mainly an anarcho punk set, featuring some friends (ANXTV-1984), a genre that I have always listened to but never been able to play on a club and that was a very high point in the whole night as I finally widened my experience within a new genre.
I had the chance to put a little bit of myself and my own taste in one of the perfomrances having to choose a track for it (Bone Orchard - Scarlet Ropes).
Met some very interesting lovely new people and on top of everything there is still some more plans in the pipeline ;) Londoners: keep the 15th of august free!
anyway, here is the setlist:
gaznevada - frogs on the phone
the normals - TVOD
swayzac - buffalo 7
suicide - ghost rider
35mmm - more than this
crisis - uk78
addict - get addicted
Buzzcocks - you know you can't help it
Paralisis Permanente - autosufficienza
Zounds - Can't cheat karma
Oi Polloi - pigs for slaughter
Stranglers - No more Heroes
Richard Hell an the Voivoids - Blank Generation
Germs - Lexicon Devil
Rudimentari peni - house of the void
Crass - Do they owe us a living?
Borghesia - Ljubav Je Hladnija Od Smrti
performance (bone orchard - red ropes)
ATV - Action Time Vision
999 - nasty nasty
Wire - 12xU
Dead Kennedys - kill the poor
ANL - So what
ANXTV - 1984
AMEBIX - Time Bomb
The Reducres - We are Normal
FOR THE NEXT BEHIND BARS EVENT CLICK HERE: