Die geheimen Tagebücher von einer verderbten Existenz

Behind these gates you will hear my thoughts screaming like nerves under the sun and feel my emotion laughing to the empty ether.
Welcome Dear Wanderer, make yourself at home.
The road is long and tortuous and I hope you enjoy yourself.

Fraternally Yours,
Poison Creeper

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Agitation - Haus Arafna Lyrics

Traffic of Spirit,
Colored Speech,
Caressing Visions,

Equalized Passion,
Distorted Awereness
For the civilized World.


And the People,
A Step to the Right
Or a Step to the Left.
Kick at them
Or hold their Hands.

Is grabbing your Will.
To hunt and to kill.


Changing Knowledge,
Twisting Memories,
Interfaced Tones,

Blured Senses,
Shaking Emotions
For the civilized World.


And the People,
A Step to the Right
Or a Step to the Left.
Kick at them
Or hold their Hands.

Is grabbing your Will.
To hunt and to kill.


Control and move!

Is it true what they say!?


Cantact with your Will.
Saturation and Thrill.

Hysteria and Art.
Refract and Retard.

Stimulation to kill.
Is grabbing your Will

My Planetary Chart for Today.

Venus Square Jupiter:

This is a time when you could take great strides to get noticed. Avoid impulsive buying. Problems in your personal life likely won't get resolved under this influence. Avoid hasty (or haughty!) decisions. You might overstate your feelings or promise more than you can deliver. Feelings of elation in love or with regards to the pleasures of life can lead you to overdo, overindulge, overspend, and overstate your feelings. You may also feel lazy and you are inclined to procrastinate. You could be trapped in the company of boring people at a social event now, others might impose upon you, or you could be tempted to blow your savings. Avoid the tendency to exaggerate your feelings or your means.

Moon Square Pluto :

If you can, avoid getting yourself entangled in messy, emotional struggles, as these are more likely to occur now than usual. You might get yourself into a disagreement about finances. Changes may occur now, but they are more likely to be internal changes. Sometimes this energy relates to dealing with endings, crises, or other transformations in your personal life. Negative potentials of this transit are beating a dead horse, wasted energies on obsessions, trying too hard to find the "truth", and suspecting a hidden agenda. Others might hold you at arm's length right now, or treat you with some suspicion. They could be displaying bouts of jealousy or holding something over your head. Intensity characterizes your relationships for the time being. Avoid mind games, and those who are playing them.

Moon Conjunction Jupiter ;

The public loves you, and it may be hard for you to avoid working with and for others. The way for you involves working with people. Everyone sees you as genuine and giving and tends to trust you on sight. Your ability to counsel others is excellent, and you are always sought out for advice. A born leader, others find it easy to take instructions from you and tend to follow your example. You enjoy helping others solve their problems.

Moon Trine Uranus :
You are able to operate in original and unconventional ways in pursuit of emotional security, for your upbringing has led you to understand that your em-
otional experiences need to fit in with your theoretical beliefs about the nature of the world, however idiosyncratic these beliefs may appear to others.
You seek considerable freedom to pursue emotional experiences in your own way, though your behaviour is more likely to be regarded as progressive and innov-
ative rather than antisocial or arrogant. You will be attracted to people and projects that are out of the ordinary, feeling quite at home in places and
situations which would disconcert more conventional people. You will also help others to break out of their emotional ruts by your fine example.
Moon Sextile Venus :Your unconscious emotional response to the world works quite well with your conscious desire to understand the world intellectually. You are therefore able to gain some degree of detachment from your feelings, enabling you to keep things in perspective, and to keep calm in a crisis. You are also able to give depth to your ideas, and infuse some feeling into them. These are useful qualities, and you will find that you are likely to be popular for your capacity to handle both ideas and emotions relatively easily. You tend to be fairly tolerant and easy-going, and to make the most of your considerable talents you should apply yourself to some task or goal that is of personal importance to you.
Moon Sextile Med.Coeli :This influence normally indicates a few hours of unusually intense feelings. Tonight you will have a strong desire to know yourself and to experience life largely through the emotion. This is probably not the best time for work that requires a completely clear and dispassionate state of consciousness, but you will not feel like doing that kind of work anyway. You will want to engage your emotions in whatever you do, and you will experience a richness of feeling and inner life that is satisfying in itself. This influence is good for any business matters concerning the general public or for any situation in which you have to appear before the public or a large group. Otherwise it is not an influence that stimulates drive and ambition.
Moon Sextile Mars :
Your unconscious emotional response to the world works quite well with your more conscious desire to act on your feelings, giving you self-confidence,
for you are able to evaluate the longer-term implications of your actions as well as the immediate ones in terms of emotional security. You are therefore
quite courageous, and will fight with the courage of your convictions for those things you value. Your ability to channel your energies constructively
makes you a useful member of a group, for you can set a good pace and whip up enthusiasm in others. You are likely to get on well with other people who
value your qualities of loyalty and directness, and you are likely to show considerable personal magnetism in close relationships.

The Song of Mekada

The Song of Mekada

Composed by the Queen of Sheba for King Solomon
And Translated from the Ancient Cuneiform by Basil Tuxaxle*


Tidal pools are sharpened notes
Composed across a staff of rocks.
We share ecstasies here with starfish
Among harmonic star grass gliding.
Starflowers bloom beneath the tides.
Deep hollow caverns are filling up
With swimmers pleasured in the wakes of passing tones.

Blanket me with your warm surf.
Fire wondrous rockets cloud-ward.
Rain ripe living kisses on my face.
Explode chromatic star shells within our jet stream.
Spurt star-spangled fireworks white against the sky.

On the surface of the stargazed sea,
Only star weed grows where once our passions flamed.
Our pool gluts from hidden tidal springs.
In my hand I scoop up two orchestral planets,
Alive with bristling energy.
High above these orbs of desire,
The mouth of your sea dome pouts.

Let your life-rockets anticipate my tender strokes.
Let your melodies come rising toward the waves.
Who gently clasps your flowered coral ridges,
Running musical fingers under your breasts?
What embrace gathers all symphonic waters
Like sweet dews floating allegro cantabile?
In waltz time the trumpeter swan sings secrets.

Then, come to the tidal pool.
Bathe in our ménage à trois of the soul.

Copyright © 1989, 2005 by Basil Tuxaxle

*EDITOR: Although Basil Tuxaxle claims to have been given this text by Margot Motherchurch, who supposedly exhumed it on the planet Morbyx, it is doubtful if Mr. Tuxaxle knows sufficient cuneiform to have translated the original sandstone tablet. A claim for hieroglyphics might be easier to believe. It is also hinted by some authorities that the last two lines of the poem were never in the original text of Mekada but that Margot added the final couplet to the completed poem because she wanted to "soften" the erotic suggestions, of which she was not sure she approved. Of course, with Basil Tuxaxle and Margot Motherchurch, one never knows anything for sure.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

TriOre - Three Hours - Lyrics

TriORE "Three Hours"

01. The First Three Hours (instrumental)

02. Victory Rising
Victory is rising and the world has turned insane
Sleeping dogs are walking and the little children pray
Dying suns are setting in a sky of raging war
We think about the good times while we perish with before

“I bring you lies, I bring with me
A dream that only, we can see
I bring eyes; I bring you teeth
I have a dream, reserved for me”

Victory is rising with the advent of the tide
Broken men are crying while they stagger in the night
Strom clouds are ascending where the falling stars collide
Walking through the fires to the sound of life that dies

03. After Summer We Fall
In the first day of winter the last day of fall
We dance in the snow and remember the sun
We drink to the visions of winter advancing
Embracing our marrows with coldness unsung
The first day of springtime the last day of winter
We lie on the grass and remember the snow
We drink to the rising of summer and blossom
And nourish the passion of winter disowned

“Seasons come, just like the summer rain
Seasons change, and go away again”

In the first day of summer the last day of spring
We drink to the visions of nature revived
We lie on the grass and revere every instant
Till the last straw has willed and summer has died
In the first day of autumn the last day of summer
We love in the darkness and dance in the rain
We drink to the visions of heaven’s colliding
Foreseeing succession again and again

04. The Missing Hour
The castle deflated, created of air
A kingdom forsaken, from lover’s despair
The queen has departed, yet loving and fair

“When I was lost you told me that blood would heal my wounds
When I was found you told me to face the ugly truth
When I was young you loved me and all the lies I told
But now our dream is over and we are spurned and cold”

My land has expired; the court it has died
But please don’t resent me; believe I have tried
Love is still likely, when hatred has died

05. Another Love, Another Hate
Don’t believe, the tales of treachery
Evil of the man, who evil wants to see
I find myself, inside myself
Evil is, what, evil wants to be

“Another time, another place,
Another love, another hate”

When friendship turns, to treachery
Please see yourself, for what you want to see
I don’t accept, your truth of me
I see myself, and wonder what you see

06. No Tears Are Shed For You And Me
A beautiful man, disguised and hurt
For all his dreams, they give him words
His quest of life, extends beyond
Beneath his feet, the world is numb

“Are we confined inside of dream?
The flame of life within our reach
Our souls at ease deceased would be
The time has come to be conceived
My faith is lost but still complete
No tears are shed for you and me”

His faith was lost; his gods are dead
The sky above it gleams to death
Who lights the flame that once was doused
With tears of pledge and faithless vows

07. Pleasures And Tortures
I was smothered not to praise my father in the sun
I was punished not to please my sisters in the stars
I was baptized not to honor my mother in the moon
I was murdered not to cherish my brothers made of snow

“Certain pleasures are forever we are raised in disbelief
Certain tortures are forever there is silence when we preach
Certain pleasures are forever we are feared and disbelieved
Certain tortures are forever can you satisfy my needs?”

I was slandered not to worship my father in the sun
I was beaten not to lust my sisters in the stars
I was branded not to touch my mother in the moon
I was vanquished not to love my brothers made of snow

08. Fires Burn, Like Fires Do
Here is today, and here is forever
Baptized in tears to a lifetime of sorrow
Seize not this day, but wait till tomorrow
Sweet woman child who love just to loose
Is love not sweet, where bombs explode?
Between black kisses awarded to you
Here not my words unveiling the truth
Love is forever, but just for a few

“Time is here for us
Love will come again
Flames will rise for us
And burn again, like fires do”

09. Let Us Meet In The Trenches
I won’t raise my hand in anger; I won’t speak no words of spite
The friends I had have parted; I stand barren in the night
The memories I kept, of the friends they claimed to be
They will perish when I waken, and its freedom that I fell

“Let us meet in the trenches, let us dance in sun
Let us kiss in the bloodshed, till the future has come”

10. There's A Smell To Life That Dies
Fear me not; I am one
Taste my soul; face the sun
Life will rise, like a spear
We are now; quench the fear
Fear me not; I am two
Touch yourself, who are you?
What came first, god or man?
Jesus came, in my hands

“Hear the sound of horses riding
Can you fell the thunder call?
Storm clouds gather in the distance
Soon the burning rain shall fall
Hear the sound of structures falling
Can you hear the dream that die?
Hear the song of people crying
There’s a smell to life that dies”

Fear me not; I am three
Man and beast; be conceived
Stars will fall, just like ash
Read the signs, on my back
Fear me not; I am four
Touch the flame; like before
Every man, is a star
Taste the sperm, of my heart

11. Europa's Dream
Until the day Europa falls, my love is not for you
In memories and solitude, your hearts remains untrue

“Europa’s dream the dagger’s creed, I name your soul with tears
From love we come in love we leave, for love we shall concede
Unfailing is Europa’s fall, the words we cannot speak
From love we come in love we leave”

Until the day when angels fall, your tears will fall unseen
That roses bleed and love departs, is meaningless to me

12. The Last Three Hours (instrumental)

Monday, 22 March 2010

Doomsday Serenade - Jill Tracy (lyrics)

We'll meet again my dear on doomsday
Pigs will be flying through the sky
On the 12th of never
At a quarter past forever
Stricken with the rapture
We'll watch the world's demise

We'll meet again my dear on doomsday
A hint of Armageddon fills the air
Now that Hell has frozen over
And the sun is brewing colder
We'll be drawing closer
Cuz there's no more time to spare

We'll meet again my dear on doomsday
A shower full of frogs and toads
But as bleak as it may be
Apocalyptic revelry
Hand in hand we'll tiptoe
Through the carcasses and bones

The air's too thin to breathe on doomsday
At last we face the reckoning
And blood will fill the sea
Cobwebs will cover you and me
As flames engulf the remnants
Of this grand catastrophe

It's Doomsday
It's Doomsday

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

The Sensitive Plant

And the Spring arose on the garden fair,
Like the spirit of Love felt everywhere
And each wild flower and herb on Earth’s dark breast
Rose from the dreams of its wintry rest.
The snowdrop and then the violet
Arose from the ground with the warm rain wet
And their breath was mixed with sweet odour sent
From the turf, like the voice and the instrument.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

X - The Wheel Of Fortune - Gaya - Vernal Equinox - Earth

Several years ago, some of my friends into magick and divination had told me that the tarot that represented me was the Wheel of Fortune, I still ignore how they came up with that information. Last year with my 3 friends we decided to choose each one of us a elemental symbol to represent each one of us and the last one that remained for me was the earth element, I, at first, wasn't happy with that but then I had found this, looking into more information about the Spring Equinox and it's possible links with the Tarot Cards and elemets.

It makes me smirk what I have just read and realising that, sometimes there is a untold consistency in our life and uncounscious choices that we make.
The Element of the Wheel is Earth and it also represent the Spring Equinox.

X. Fortuna - Tuche - Fortune (10)
Domina Casus - Lady of Chance
Suit: Pentacles - Element: Earth


Fortune rota volvitur. (The Wheel of Fortune turns.)
Tyche, Fortuna; Rhea.
2+5 = Virtue+Fourth (Water); 4+4 = Virtue+Fourth (Fire).
1+6+6 = 1st Ogdoad+Virtue+Fourth.
Greek Letter = Kappa:
Kuklos = wheel; Kairos = opportunity, circumstances, success, critical time, place, etc.; Kubernetes = steersman.


Fortuna sits at the center of her Wheel, observing the rotation of four figures on its rim: above her, below her, to her left and to her right.
The figure to Fortuna's right is a blond boy with short ass's ears; he is dressed neatly in green and white, emblazoned with the alchemical symbol for mercury. The figure sitting on top is a mature man with tawny hair and long ass's ears; he is dressed regally in blue and gold emblazoned with the alchemical symbol for sulphur. The figure to her left is an upside-down older sunburned man with dark brown hair and an ass's tail; he is dressed in tattered brown and dark red clothes with the alchemical symbol for salt. The figure underneath the wheel is an ancient, white-bearded, swarthy man (similar to trump XI.Old Man) crawling to Fortuna's right on all fours, and dressed in black and brown rags marked with the alchemical symbol of the caput mortuum (two dots over one dot, all in a circle).

Each of the figures is labeled with a scroll: the one to Fortuna's right has "In altum tollor" (I am raised on high), the top has "Nimis exaltatus" (Exalted too much), the left has "Descendo minoratus" (I descend diminished); the bottom has "Funditus mortificatus" (Utterly destroyed).

Fortuna holds the Cornucopia in her left arm and a ship's rudder in her right hand; she wears a robe of varying hue and the mural crown, from which a veil hangs over her ears and the back of her neck, leaving her face in shadows. The Wheel has eight spokes, alternating thick and thin.


The Wheel of Fortune turns; while one declines
Another is upraised, but she assigns
The fate who holds the hidden axle pin,
The sacred source where destinies begin.
Ensure each turn of life the soul refines!


The wheel represents the inexorable rise and fall of fortune. In her right hand Fortuna holds the tiller by which she steers the course of events, and in her left she holds the cornucopia, the fruits of respecting her laws.
At Fortuna's right a young and nimble youth ascends with the wheel; his rising station and power sow the seeds of his inevitable decline, but his sprouting ass's ears show us that he cannot see beyond his immanent triumph. His power reaches its maturity and he is the king of all he surveys, yet this very power leads to rigidity, which will topple him with the wheel's revolution. Still the ass, he cannot give up his rigidity although his power falls precipitously. Only when his fortune bottoms out, does he begin to loosen up, and regain the flexibility that will allow another, hopefully wiser, ascent. So it is with kings and corporations, societies and schools, fortunes and philosophies.

The alchemist knows Fortuna's law, and can use it beneficially, harnessing the descent as a means of disintegration to achieve a higher integration. Then the rotation of the elements becomes an ascending spiral. He also knows that, although the wheel's rim always moves, hidden behind Fortuna's captivating form is the stationary axis, the unmoving hub, the fixed point immune to changing fortune. This is where he stations himself when he has had enough of riding Fortune's Wheel.


X.Fortune has no corresponding trigram because she is the Lady of Chance, the yin force opposite to I.Magician, the Lord of Chance, the yang force; together they govern the First Ogdoad, the Personal Triumphs, comprising trumps II-IX. X.Fortune separates the Personal Triumphs, which represent the descent of spirit into matter, manifesting as success in the world, from the Universal Triumphs (trumps XI-XX), representing the re-ascent of the spirit from matter, manifesting as a turn inward and as spiritual accomplishments; the Wheel is the "turning point" from "involution and generation" to "evolution and regeneration." (Nichols 190-1).
It is significant that Fortune is trump 10, for the Pythagoreans say that the decad is a higher-order unity, since the decad circles back on itself and encompasses all the elementary numbers. This is symbolized by Greek and Roman numerals, since the Greek numeral for 10 is I, which is also the Roman numeral for 1. The Pythagoreans also call the decad "Fate" and the "All-fulfiller," since it brings all things to their natural ends. It represents the wheel, for it comprises the monad (1) and the ennead (9), which are the hub and the rim. Indeed, it is the outermost rim of the heavens, which turns all the inner spheres. X.Fortune heralds a new epoch of integration. (Cooper s.v. numbers; Jung, Aion 134; Nichols 199; Schimmel 182 ; TA 79, 81-3, 86; see also my commentary on the 10s in the Minor Arcana)

On the other hand, the numerical value of TUCH H QEA (Tukhe He Thea, The Goddess Tyche, Fortune) is 1331, which reduces to 11+1-3+3-1 = 11, the final number of the Hendecad. Thus, the Wheel has both the perfection of the decad (Greek I), but the excess of the hendecad, which marks the first step (Roman I) beyond that perfection to another level, for the Wheel separates the personal triumphs (I-IX) from the universal triumphs (XI-XX). According to Rene Guinon the hendecad represents the Hieros Gamos (Sacred Marriage), which both joins the bodies (2+3) and unites the souls (243) of the female (2) and male (3). (Schimmel 189, 191)

For convenience I have translated Dominus & Domina Casus as Lord and Lady of Chance. However, the literal meaning of casus is "anything that befalls" (from cado, to fall): an accident, an opportunity, an event, an occurrence, an occasion, etc.; thus a "chance" should be thought of as an opportunity rather than a uncaused event. Therefore, instead of calling them the Lord and Lady of Chance, it would be better if the Dominus Casus, Hermes the Magician, were called the Lord of Opportunity, and if the Domina Casus, Fortuna, were called the Lady of Destiny.

Indeed, from at least the fourth century BCE the Greeks distinguished tuche (fortune) from automaton (chance) (OCD s.v. Tyche; Plutarch "On Fate"). Tuche especially represents the success and good fortune that is a consequence of skill as well as luck (OCD s.v. Tyche). We are reminded of Pasteur, who said, "le hasard ne favorise que les esprits prepares" - "luck favors only the prepared mind" (Oxf. Dict. Quot.).

This is the reason that, although Fortuna is sometimes shown blindfolded (as in the Visconti-Sforza tarot deck), she is not in our image, for she consciously guides the turning of the wheel, which she holds in some images. It is also shown by her right hand on the rudder, which is a symbol of guidance, control, safety and fate. She is noble, wise, gracious and all powerful; Menander called her "a divine breath or understanding that guides and preserves all things." (Biedermann s.v. blindness; Cooper s.v. rudder;OCD s.v. Tyche; Oswalt 292)

In addition to the goddess, the Greeks and Romans thought that each individual had their own Tuche or Fortuna, a daimon steering their destiny. The individual Fortuna is the "hidden Self," which unconsciously chooses the turnings of fate; this is the central core, the hub of the wheel, which is hidden. (Each city also had a Fortuna, which is why she wears the mural crown.) (Larousse 164, 213; OCD s.v. Tyche; Sharman-Burke & Greene 56)

The variability of Fortune is described well in the Carmina Burana (e.g., carmina 1 and 2 in Orff's arrangement); this is the last verse of carmen 2:

Fortune rota volvitur:
descendo minoratus;
alter in altum tollitur
nimis exaltatus;
rex sedet in vertice -
caveat ruinam!
nam sub axe legimus
Hecubam reginam!

That is:
The Wheel of Fortune turns:
Diminished, I descend;
Another is lifted,
And raised too high;
A king sits at the summit -
Beware thy ruin!
For under the axle we read
That Hecuba was Queen!

Nimis exaltatus (Exalted too much) recalls the motto of Temperance, Non quid nimis (Nothing too much). In carmen 1 Fortuna is described as obumbrata et velata (obscure and veiled); her robe of varying hue represents variability (the Carmina Burana, Orff 1, describes her as statu variabilis - in a state of changing, we might say, constant in changing) (Orff/Sebesta 130, 136).
The Wheel has a rich meaning, much of which centers on (or revolves around!) the contrast between the rotating rim and the stationary axis. In a broad sense the axis is Being and the rim is Becoming: the archetypal, eternal and ideal as contrasted with the specific, ephemeral and real. However, the rim manifests the specifically cyclic Becoming that is governed by Fortuna, the simultaneous coming-to-be and passing-away, and, more generally, the unity underlying all opposites (familiar from Heraclitus). (Crowley 90; Nichols 186-7; SB&G 56)

Of course a wheel may rotate on a fixed axis and go nowhere, but we also know that a wheel may progress as it turns and thereby move the very axis of its rotation. Thus we are not condemned to the eternal reliving of our history, but can harness the inevitable rotation to our benefit. The substance in the alchemist's kerotakis (see XI.Old Man) also circulates, rising as vapor or spirit, and falling again as fluid, but the alchemist has ensured that with each circulation it is further purified and ennobled. So too, if we remember the history of the wheel's previous rotations, we will not be condemned to repetition, but may progress with the axis, a spiral process of evolution (literally, "rolling out"). (Nichols 186, 190-1)

The hub of the wheel represents the unchanging source of the phenomena confronting us. In psychological terms, it is the Self - the totality of the psyche, both conscious and unconscious - which is usually hidden, as the hub is behind Fortuna; we are so captivated by Lady Luck that we forget to look past her. The hub makes the moving rim possible, and demonstrates that, although we seem to be met by continually changing fortunes, this is a projection, and it is, in fact, our conscious ego, revolving around our Self, that turns to meet our fortune. However, that does not mean we can control the wheel, for free will resides in the conscious ego, which must ride on the rim, which is turned by hidden Fate (Fortuna). We cannot stop the wheel and still live, but if we can find the central axis, then the rotation can become a spiral and we can progress. With the help of Fortuna, who holds the wheel, we can then fulfill our destiny. (Nichols 179, 187; SB&G 55-6; cf. Case 120)

As I've said above, the classical conception of Fortuna is not blind; the rudder shows she steers with Foresight (her father, according to Alcman). Those who respect her and the other gods are rewarded from her Cornucopia, the fruits of striving toward the central axis. For those who disregard her laws, especially for those who have the hubris to try to escape the wheel and rise above Fate (by which even the gods are bound), for these the wheel becomes an instrument of torture. Like Ixion, who had the hubris to try to seduce Hera, they are bound to the wheel and are broken by it. (Nichols 183-5; OCD s.v. Tyche; SB&G 54-6)

In its broad sense, a pentacle is any circular object inscribed with magical symbols (OED, 1st ed., s.v.), so in the Tarot we can take a pentacle to be any mandala-like device, which symbolizes completeness. (Recall also that the suit of pentacles is sometimes called disks.) Thus the Wheel of Fortune is certainly a Pentacle, which is the suit associated with X.Fortune. In general terms a wheel symbolizes time, fate and the Wheel of Life, the eternal cycle of degeneration and regeneration (Cooper s.v. wheel; Nichols 192).

In Gregor Reisch's Margarita Philosophica (1503) the Wheel is labeled: "Ad alta vehor" (I am lifted on high), "Glorior elatus" (Lifted up, I am proud), "Descendo mortificatus" (Mortified, I descend), "Axi rotor" (I am turned by the wheel) (Cardan 180). The Visconti-Sforza tarot deck and a thirteenth century manuscript of the Carmina Burana in Munich both show the wheel labeled: "Regnabo" (I shall reign), "Regno" (I reign), "Regnavi" (I have reigned), "Sum sine regno" (I am without reign) (Dummett 120; Harrington frontis.; Sebesta 136). This is also given in a Medieval epigram (Moakley 87):

Cursus Fortune variatur in more lune:
Crescit, decrescit et eodem sistere nescit.
Elevor in primis, regno tuo utor, in imis
aufero ecce nimis: raro distant ultima primis:
regnabo, regno, regnavi, sum sine regno.

That is,
The course of Fortune changes like the moon:
It grows and shrinks, and knows not how to stay the same,
At first I'm raised, and I enjoy the reign; at last,
Behold, I take too much: the ends differ seldom from starts:
I shall reign, I reign, I have reigned, I have no reign.

According to Moakley (87), Boethius' Consolatio (Bk. II) was the source of the medieval conception of Fortuna, which she compares to the Buddhist wheel of life and death (see also Consol. IV, prr. 6, 7, V, pr. 1). In Dante's time Fortuna's eight-spoked wheel was said to represent eight states of life: umilta (humility), pazienza (patience), pace (peace), ricchezza (wealth), superbia (pride), impazienza (impatience), guerra (war), poverta (poverty), with opposites placed on the diameters (Moakley 87).
The four figures represent the four principles and four stations of all processes of cyclic rise and fall; as paradigms we may take spring-summer-autumn-winter and youth-maturity-old age-death (21 years each). (The real and fanciful beasts around the Wheel in some tarot decks are a result of cardmakers misunderstanding the symbolism of the ass's ears; see Dummett 120.)

The figure on Fortuna's right represents Humiditas (Moisture), the power or principle of fluidity, corresponding to alchemical Mercury and the vernal equinox. This is the quality of flexibility and nimbleness, which facilitates growth and the expansion of energy and power; it is the moist, sappy growth of spring and the waxing vigor of supple youth. Thus the figure on Fortuna's right ascends from the cold at the bottom of the wheel to the hot at the top.

The figure at the top of the wheel represents Calidus (Heat), the principle of energy or power, corresponding to alchemical Sulphur and the summer solstice. Thus the top of the wheel represents the hot, flourishing strength of summer and full maturity. As the figure crosses the top of the wheel, this expansive, forceful power has a drying effect, shifting the balance from moist to dry, that is, from flexibility on Fortuna's right to rigidity on Fortuna's left.

The figure at Fortuna's left represents Siccus (Dryness), the power or principle of rigidity and inflexibility, corresponding to alchemical Salt and the autumnal equinox. The side of the wheel on Fortuna's left represents the drying decline of autumn and the waning strength of old age. Dryness and rigidity inhibit life, and so the figure on Fortuna's left descends from the hot, burgeoning life at the top of the wheel, to the cold death at the bottom.

The figure at the bottom of the wheel symbolizes Frigidus (Cold), which represents the lack of power or energy and the winter solstice. The bottom of the wheel corresponds to the cold inactivity and death of winter, and the darkness of senility and death. Since rigidity cannot be maintained without energy or power, the figure below the wheel crawls to Fortuna's right, from rigidity to flexibility. In psychological terms, the descent to the low point is humiliating and mortifying, which dissolves the rigid structures, permitting them to become more fluid and flexible. ("Humility" derives from Latin humus, ground, earth; it comes from the same Indo-European root as "human" - AHD s.v. humble.)

There is no alchemical principle or spirit corresponding to the bottom of the wheel, for it is characterized by the absence of all spirit and quality. Thus I have associated it with the Caput Mortuum (Dead Head), as will be explained shortly. The three upper figures, corresponding to the alchemical principles Mercury, Sulphur and Salt, constitute a traditional three-headed representation of Time (also familiar as the Maiden, Mother and Crone) (Nichols 183; Panofsky, Mean. Vis. Arts ch. 4, Stud. Icon. 79).

The four quadrants of the wheel represent alchemical processes, which we will consider in the usual order (Fortuna's lower left, lower right, upper right, upper left), though in fact they form a cycle.

The quadrant of the wheel at Fortuna's lower left represents the alchemical Nigredo (Blackening), in which the rigid structures are broken down, dissolved and allowed to putrefy. The resulting Prima Materia has no properties (it is neither moist nor dry, i.e., neither flexible or rigid) and has no inherent energy (heat). In alchemy it is called the Caput Mortuum (Dead Head), the Caput Osiridis (head of Osiris), and the Moor's or Ethiopian's Head, for it is the Head of Black Osiris. It is also called Sol Niger (Black Sun), Corvis (Crow or Raven) and Caput Corvi (Crow or Raven's Head) (Jung MC 510-3, P&A 401n). Its symbol is a simplified face - three dots in a circle, sometimes with a nose squiggle, as we see, for example, in the Last Will and Testament of Basil Valentine (1671) (Albertus 64; Thompson 15, #38; Read 90).

The outcome of the Nigredo, the Blackening, is black because it is devoid of all qualities; there is no heat or light, no illumination, and the resulting darkness utterly obscures all features. Thus it represents a suitably neutral starting point for the alchemical process, the original Prima Materia. The Blackening corresponds to the quadrant of the wheel at Fortuna's lower left, which is Dry and Cold, that is, Earthy. Since the element Earth is symbolized by the color brown (Cooper s.v. elements), the figure at the bottom of the wheel is dressed in brown as well as black.

The figure at the bottom of the wheel has a white beard (like XI.Old Man) because he represents the beginning of the next alchemical stage, the Albedo (Whitening), which transmutes the Prima Materia into Silver. The Albedo is accomplished by means of alchemical Mercury, the Spirit of Fluidity. When the process is complete we have reached the figure to Fortuna's right, which represents an increase in energy from the depths of the bottom of the wheel, and the maximum of fluidity. Since this station represents the maximum of flexibility, it is considered white, for it can be tinctured with any color. Fortuna's lower right quadrant is Moist and Cold, which is the element Water, associated with green (Cooper loc. cit.). Therefore, the youth governing the Albedo is dressed in green and white, which are also appropriate colors for spring, when the snow yields to new growth.

The boy at Fortuna's right has a blond beard because he represents the beginning of the next alchemical stage, the Citrinitas (Yellowing), which transmutes the Silver into Gold. The Citrinitas is accomplished by means of alchemical Sulphur, the Spirit of Heat. When the process is complete we have reached the figure at the top of the wheel, characterized by the maximum of energy, represented by the golden yellow color, but a loss of flexibility and growing rigidity (represented by a loss of whiteness). Fortuna's upper right quadrant is Moist and Hot, which is the element Air, associated with blue (Cooper loc. cit.). Therefore, the king governing the Citrinitas is dressed in blue and gold, which are also appropriate colors for summer, characterized by a bright sun blazing in blue skies.

The king's beard is tawny or reddish brown because he represents the next alchemical stage, for some alchemists came to believe that Gold - long thought to be the most noble metal - could be improved by a process called the Rubedo (Reddening), the result of which would be the Iosis (the Violet), the Peacock's Tail, the Rainbow, a kind of supercharged Gold that could tincture other materials, because it had more of the Spirit of Gold than its material could hold (Hopkins 97-9).

To me, the Lesson of the Wheel is that the Rubedo is just the sort of hubris - striving too far - that Fortuna is inclined to punish. When the King who is already at the top tries to go further, the only way to go is down. Therefore, I have called the fourth quadrant of the wheel Adustio, which means a burning, for adustus means charred, scorched and burnt, especially sunburnt, and was commonly applied to the complexion. Thus, rather than the glorious iridescence of the peacock's tail, the outcome of alchemical hubris is the swarthy, dark brown of skin dried and burned by too much sun, a harbinger, as we now know, of black cancerous skin.

Fortuna's upper left quadrant is Dry and Hot, which is the element Fire, associated with red and orange (Cooper loc. cit.). Therefore, the man suffering the Adustio is dressed in reds and browns, which are also appropriate colors for autumn (N.B: "the fall"), characterized by gloriously colored leaves, which are nevertheless too dry and are destined to fall. The Adustio is caused by the alchemical Salt, the Spirit of Dryness (or Solidity), which draws out the moisture. His beard is black because he represents the beginning of next alchemical stage in the cycle, the Nigredo, with which we began.

It will be apparent that the wheel also represents the rotation of the elements: Earth to Water to Air to Fire and back again. The entire rotation is governed by two "laws": (1) the rate of increase of power varies directly with flexibility; (2) the rate of increase of rigidity varies directly with power. (Of course, rigidity is the opposite of flexibility.)

In the Visconti-Sforza card, the ascending figure on Fortuna's right is dressed in green with white trim; the figure on top is dressed in blue and gold with the emblem of the sun; the figure descending on Fortuna's left is dressed in red with yellow trim; the figure at the bottom is in white rags (Dummett 121; Kaplan 69). (It is interesting that I came up with the green-white, blue-gold, brown-red, black-white color scheme before checking the colors on the Visconti-Sforza deck.)

Crowley (89-91) and Case (119-23) similarly associate the three upper stations of the Wheel with the three alchemical principles and with the three Gunas of Hindu philosophy. Crowley has a clockwise rotation, as I do, so Mercury is on our left (Fortuna's right), Sulphur on the top, and Salt on the right. Mercury is associated with the Guna called Sattva, which Case and Crowley explain as consciousness, intelligence and balance; it corresponds to Jung's Thinking function. Sulphur is associated with Rajas, representing passion, activity, restlessness and brilliance; it corresponds to Jung's Feeling function. Salt is associated with Tamas, representing stability, inertia and ignorance, which might be identified with Jung's Sensation.

Case's Wheel differs from ours in several respects: it rotates counterclockwise, with Sulphur on the ascending (right) side, Mercury on top, and Salt on the descending side. As in our Wheel, Case (122) has a fourth principle at the bottom, represented by the alchemical symbol for solutio (like the sign for Aquarius), which symbolizes dissolution; we may compare it to the Wheel resting in water of the Wirth deck (Pollack I.81-2). This corresponds to our Caput Mortuum and Intuition, the fourth of Jung's functions.

Crowley (90) observes that Mercury, Salt and Sulphur correspond to the Magician, Empress and Emperor, which are trumps I, II and III in our sequence. IV.High Priestess naturally corresponds to the fourth principle, since she is dark and dissolves everything in her waters (see IV.High Priestess). (V.High Priest could be considered a return to Mercury.) For the eight-spoke wheel representing the alchemical work and for the elemental colors red, yellow, green and blue, see Jung (P&A 163-9).

Fortuna's full name is Fors Fortuna, and in earliest times she was called simply Fors (Chance or Hazard). This may suggest unpredictable disaster, but ancient etymologists derived her name from "ferre," and said her name means "the Bringer," for she brings abundance and fertility, especially to women, and is often shown with many children around her feet. (OCD s.v. Fortuna; Oswalt 113)

The Cornucopia (Horn of Plenty) is a symbol of Fortuna's gift of fertility and abundance, for it is the horn of the goat Amaltheia, who nursed Zeus when he was reared secretly in Crete. The horn symbolizes the fertility of male united with female, for it is phallic in shape, yet it is hollow like the receptive female. (Biedermann s.v. cornucopia; Cooper s.v. cornucopia; Fontana 124; Larousse 213; Oswalt 292)

Fortuna's kindness was known to the Greeks, who called her "Savior Tuche, Daughter of Zeus the Deliverer," for some say that she is the firstborn daughter of Zeus (Fortuna Iouis filia primogenea). Others say she is the daughter of Forethought and the sister of Order and Persuasion, which shows she is not so capricious as usually assumed. (Larousse 164; OCD s.v. Tyche; Oswalt 291) She is described as follows in Sophocles' Antigone (1158-9):

For Tuche with a constant ebb and flow
Casts down and raises, both the high and low.

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Free - November Növelet Lyrics

Can do it like everyone does it
can't love it like everyone loves it
I'm so far away from it
I am afraid to try again with it
can't feel it like everyone feels it
Can't seen Can't talk about it
but I still dream about it
I'm so far away from it
I am afraid I could never get back to it

Com'on close your eyes
touch my skin
make me free
I want to see
how it would be
if I, if I could feel

I remember the time before
everything was open, every door
the boundless treat met every season
don;t know if that's the reason

Com'on close your eyes
touch my skin
make me free
I want to see
how it would be
if I, if I could feel

I'm so far away from it
I am afraid I could never get back to it
hold me, hold me
you told me that you want to help me
kill me
kill me
kill me

Com'on close your eyes
touch my skin
make me free
I want to see
how it would be
if I, if I could feel

Saturday, 6 March 2010

Brave Exhibition Fundraising Event 05.03.10 @ George Tavern

Suicide - Cheree
Zola Jesus - Sink The Dinasty
Lydia Lunch - When I'm Loaded
Sonic Youth - Dirty Boots
Die Haut - Tokyo Express
Pere Ubu - Final Solution
Carcrash International - Nightland
Siglo XX - Individuality
The Three Johns - King Car
Fad Gadget - Love Parasite
Pankow - I'm Lost, Little Girl
Diamanda Galas - Double Barrel Prayer
Test Department - The Crusher
Throbbing Gristle - Something Came Over Me
Einsturzende Neubauten - Was ist, ist
SPK - Slugun
Satori - Eruption

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Current 93 * The Descent Of Long Satan And Babylon* lyrics

Long Satan and Babylon are walking
They're talking of fire and of ice
Of the silence that stalks in the forest
And a Christ spun out of the worlds

Long Satan and Babylon are moving
Through a world ripped away from it's centre
They shear through the rushes
They follow the night night night night

They want want want want want want
Long Satan and Babylon are rushing
They are hurtling away
From the centre of things
They are running from the inside

The wind cries full and in them
Cuts through their emptiness
Hoof on stone
Claw against sun
Where to look in an unknown

Where to search in the vast whole
Piggy-back cross oh piggy-black cross
Into the silence thundering
As they only hear the silence

They do not hear the pain
But Christ sees everything
The little children are falling
They'll topple till the end of the world

Long Satan and Babylon keep running
Through a universe empty of sound
Though the world makes dark shadows
You must look in your heart
In the dark
You must look in your heart

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Edgar Allan Poe