Die geheimen Tageb├╝cher von einer verderbten Existenz

Behind these gates you will hear my thoughts screaming like nerves under the sun and feel my emotion laughing to the empty ether.
Welcome Dear Wanderer, make yourself at home.
The road is long and tortuous and I hope you enjoy yourself.

Fraternally Yours,
Poison Creeper

Monday, 14 February 2011

the beginning of day 11

Thinking back at the last 11 days since I had promised to wait and to cut contacts: I finally came to the decision and the determination to act on all this thoughts and resolutions.
Told him tonight That I have to do that and that we have to cut all the contacts. I hope he understands that I am doing it for his own good. He has to miss me, he has to feel that void to be able to work on his own issues. He doesn't need the emotional blackmailing that involuntarily i'm making. He needs time for himself. I wish I could tell him but for now he's better off knowing that i'm angry at him and that I have given up the hope. I wish this helps. If it doesn't then there was no point in pursueing any kind of contacts in the first place anyway. Persevering on this dramatic, useless and exhausting chain of contacts. I cannot keep on doing this to him. He needs to be free and get on with his life. I will hope still and won't move on but there must be silence. On valentine's day I have taken this decision and will keep my word. Painful but necessary.
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1 comment:

LOLITA said...

Clean cut is the best way to restoration. Sometimes i think of those little lizards that leave their tail behind should you try to catch them.

Move always and change, don't obstruct your growing. What is yours will come.

Each fall is preparation for the big jump. And we never know how majestic the next challenge will be