I don't know where I am standing now...
I told him I am sticking around and that we have to work together towards the same target.
I wouldn't have been able to go on without him but he has to realise there is no fear to be had in starting again.
It was heartbreaking having to say goodbye on the bus, it was heartbreaking not being able to kiss him during the gig and it was heartbreaking feeling his arms around me and knowing that they were not going to touch my bare skin for virtually ever.
things will not be the same as before. I cannot put myself in that same position of being introduced as a "mate" and I will still have to go on with my life. Only Penelope had Ulysses coming back into her arms. I have never heard such a thing happening these days.
Still I hope he will realise
I cry, still
for not being able to be myself with him yet again.
and I cry for not being able to be with him.