Die geheimen Tageb├╝cher von einer verderbten Existenz

Behind these gates you will hear my thoughts screaming like nerves under the sun and feel my emotion laughing to the empty ether.
Welcome Dear Wanderer, make yourself at home.
The road is long and tortuous and I hope you enjoy yourself.

Fraternally Yours,
Poison Creeper

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

....and around a week later, I am still loosing myself in records but healing is perhaps not the right word.

yet again.

what's the fucking point of lowering the guard because maybe "I was being too harsh and doubtful about people" if in the end it always ends that way.

Another false alarm? did I read too much into it?

Fuck that, everything and everyone.

I do not believe in "taking things slow" not because I am not able to do so but because it's always a mere excuse to let somebody go "gently".

I have done it and receive it, like many of us.

it sucks.

It's simply not worth uncovering your tender side if, consistently, it gets stabbed with stupid excuses by people unable to decipher, accept and admit their own feelings (or lack thereof).

I had one of the most wonderful 4 days of this year, surrounded by affection and open demonstration to come back to the old fears, paranoias and disillusionment.

I need to get away, soon.



Is this some kind of confession?Am I obliged to let you speak?Are you still wondering whetherour actions are evercompletely pure?How could I be sure?

When all thieves lose their composure,when starvation is forcing its waythrough the treesall the way down to the beach

Mourn for me,as the sounds fall asleep.Smother mewith your mad charity,with your poisonous mercy.Smother me with charity.

So we seek out the lonely roadsto rush towards the uselessand leave this riot of blossomsto the simple minds

If you decide to accept my offerto understand this sacrificethink of me as inanimate matterto hide me from their lies.

So let me yearn for youas you have yearned for me.This storm has left us stranded,but there's method to this madness.Torture me with their uglinessand their ugly dreamshidden from the eyes of men.

What courageWhat foolishnessWhat strength

If you decide to accept my offerto understand this sacrificethink of me as inanimate matterto hide me from their lies.

"...Es gibt einen Weg in die Freiheit..."("...there is a path to freedom...")

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