Die geheimen Tagebücher von einer verderbten Existenz

Behind these gates you will hear my thoughts screaming like nerves under the sun and feel my emotion laughing to the empty ether.
Welcome Dear Wanderer, make yourself at home.
The road is long and tortuous and I hope you enjoy yourself.

Fraternally Yours,
Poison Creeper

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

300 fox hunts on boxing day [link]
Please support the RSPCA in this battle against animal rights.

Something interesting is happening in Italian politics about this new law that declares ineligibility to run for election to those politicians charged for something. [Link]

On a personal note,  I think this Yule has been quite peculiar.
I did actually end up spending time with some people that are very close to my heart.
Lunch at one place and "dinner" at the other.
After having spend about 7 hours around a table, eating, drinking and laughing, I visited the other group of friends.
The closest ones, the family.
I thought it was going to be a little awkward really considering that these are the same people that I cut out (some more, some less and some others just for a period of time) of my life 2 years ago, when this whole negative cycle started. It turned out to be the most serene and heart-warming evening I have had in ages and not only actually.

Came back home at 6.30 and forced myself to sleep with scarce results at first but Rome  kind of mellowed down the spirit and eventually I fell asleep. The consequence of going to bed at 7.30 is that I woke up in the afternoon (not long ago actually) and had lunch/breakfast at 5...meaning I won't be able to fall asleep again until late, tonight!

Tomorrow my flatmate is coming back and I wish he didn't! there's something special about wandering around in the house butt naked, a freedom that since I moved in with him it has become a rare commodity.

Going back to last night: in this last 2 years things haven't been easy with the gang, too much gossiping and, in my eyes, too many people sticking their nose in my life.
Too many people judging others. In this last years I have built walls around me and only allowed few people to know what really goes on in my life. For the first time in years, last night, there hadn't been, with them, a moment of uneasiness. Finally I was again with the family, the close friends.
This was all I could have asked from these holidays, the only people that have been able to sooth the frustration that is unravelling inside.
Maybe this cycle has finally ended? Maybe I can TRUST again?

It makes me smile when I hear someone describing me as party animal, sociable and so on and I am aware of the demeanour that I, somehow, chose to have.
On the other hand, not many people actually know that behind there is a more insecure, introvert and selective personality.

So many people, looking at my fb page, make up their mind on how I am and what I like.
I observe and wonder to see how many of these people are curious enough to go beyond that mask, start questioning and try to get to know ME.
Many are just happy with the cheerful me, others prefer to go to the bone and, those that I let in, have been often surprised on how dark and cold it is, inside.

Anyways I have a comedown from hell, my nose is cursing me for all that we did last night and I have a sore throat!!
I was doing some research ... will be posting photography soon, (I will finally had the time to read the magazines I have received in the last month an a half).

New Year... my wish would still be hiding under the duvet with him ah! yes I am still not accepting this Houdini Stance but I am still hoping I was just being all wrong all this time. I WANT to be wrong but I am afraid I am right.
It is such a shame having to renounce to such witty, admirable and sweet company that he was.

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