Die geheimen Tageb├╝cher von einer verderbten Existenz

Behind these gates you will hear my thoughts screaming like nerves under the sun and feel my emotion laughing to the empty ether.
Welcome Dear Wanderer, make yourself at home.
The road is long and tortuous and I hope you enjoy yourself.

Fraternally Yours,
Poison Creeper

Monday, 22 April 2013

From shore to shore

I finally reach the shores of Italy and black clouds were awaiting for me.
My hope of being able to enjoy some days in the sun of my hometown have vanished quickly when I exit the airport and looked outside. As if the search for pot in my bags hadn't been enough to welcome me on the peninsula.

Glad to see my parents and my brother, who is actually a lot better than I thought.
Nannies and Aunties are as good as they can be but at least they are not worse.

I have been reading a lot of Ezra Pound, John Dee & Kelly, Birogo and Crowley these days and immersed myself in dark ambient and black metal music, it somehow fit the weather. Inside and outside.

I am quite serene and looking forward the Psychic TV gig on friday and catching up with some good friends. I will be bringing one with me, armed with a one-way ticket to London.

I need some adventure and as soon as the working rythm has adjusted itself, I will have to start organising for sweden and the Norbergfest.
I will be opening the festival with one hour of dark ambient/drone/death industrial. This is making me very excited and scared too. I suggest you all to google "mimerlaven" in Norberg to see the size of the "venue" of the festival.

On completely different note, yes, I am indeed starting to work again at my old job.
I can't see any reason to have a "serious" job, day time and a job that requires me to blend in with a dull society made of white collars, money-focussed individuals and empty hearts.
Let's just be fair: those are not my people.

It also looks like an old chapter of my life has finally reached its ending, so far it seems to be a happy ending which will lead us to a beginning of a new Aeon.
An hatchet has been buried and a new page has been has been started.
I still have to see her and talk to her and catch up with 4 (almost 5) years of silence, grudge and remorse.
It still feels weird but I am glad it happened.

As for the Dj sets I have now been invited to play at Rosa Decidua II on the same night of Apocalypse Stinks, still in Slimelight.

Double Creeper Feature Show on the 11th of May @Electrowerkz.

From Neofolk and industrial to PostPunk, Goth and coldwave. If i had the chance to have another set I'd make id Doom, Stoner and Noise; it would complete the range of genres I oscillate to/from.

Some new people in my life but the old ghost is still there, let's not talk about the heart.

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

My Life is killing my rock'n roll.

Long overdue update.

As a consequence of some remote butterfly effect my life has been turned upside down, twisted and shaken then laid out again in a amorphous ball of dough which I am laying out slowly by getting accustomed to the new daytime job, the new home and the new relationship status.

Another friendship down the drain but a few others, older, seem to have resurfaced in my life.

and also, yes: I do not date anymore, I fuck only.

These are the closest events, watch out I might have another one on the 23rd and there is more to come in May.



Unrest Productions has the honour of presenting a guest appearance by TREPANERINGSRITUALEN. Aided by STAB ELECTRONICS.

TREPANERINGSRITUALEN explores themes of religion, magick and the occult realms of consciousness, taking its musical cues from the old school of ritual ambient & death industrial. Rhythmic and seething at times, and oozing forward with a creeping sense of desolation, Trepaneringsritualen conjures forth bleak but mesmerizing visions of the end-times. http://de-za-kh-a-da-sh-ba-a-ha-v.se/

Tickets here: http://www.wegottickets.com/event/201181


The Representation of the Self is a group exhibition featuring the diverse work of 14 international artists who explore the concept of Identity within different culture and beliefs.
Through the differing personal perspectives, backgrounds and with the use of different mediums the exhibition will offer to the public to explore the meaning of identity throughout the artist's point of view.

Featuring artists:

Annalisa Mandia- sculpture
Vesna Parchet- paintings
Sara Vannacci- photography
Delfin Ortiz- paintings
Simona Di Domizio- illustration
Diana More- photography
Malvine MLW- graphics
Gosia Szczepanska- mixed media
Michele Servadio- illustration
Bacter- mixed media
Alessia Palombo- photography
Valeria Di Guardo- photography

Francesco Beneneato
Athanasia (Sassa) Nikolakouli

Dj set by
Poison Creeper- post punk &
Dj Terocal

An exhibition curated by Valeria Di Guardo and Alessia Palombo


Monday, 18 February 2013

Venus in Fur

“You have a curious way of arousing one's imagination, stimulating all one's nerves, and making one's pulses beat faster. You put an aureole on vice, provided only if it is honest. Your ideal is a daring courtesan of genius. Oh, you are the kind of man who will corrupt a woman to her very last fiber.” 

Every woman has a itch.

“Alas, woman is faithful as long as she loves, but you demand that she be faithful without love and give herself without enjoyment. Who is cruel then, woman or man?” 

Sunday, 3 February 2013


 I just read my very last blog. 
That pinch eventually arrived.
The elastic was not "that" elastic; or, rather, the pinch was not expected at all.
The reaction was a a little abrupt really but the, initial, erratic movements were smoothed out and the oscillations became quite pleasant. So pleasant that -again - I didn't want it to stop.

It wasn't as bad...as I feared...
in fact...

Friday, 25 January 2013

The Lifeline Challenge.

I see my life as an elastic band under tension. Not a lot of it, really, but enough to make it susceptible even to a light pinch.
Sometimes, somebody meaningful, comes along and he/she crosses my life line, with a pinch. The elastic bands starts moving frantically.

I always need to remind myself to allow time for the elastic to reach, once again, its state of balance.

Untill the next pinch, of course.


The aim of the game is finding that person that stick to the elastic and holds on, in order to reach a common state of balance.
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Sunday, 20 January 2013

A Day with Antonin Artaud

A little summary and links to Antonin Artaud's concepts and arts.

Antonin Artaud was French poet, actor, and drama theorist. 
He wrote Surrealist poetry and acted in Surrealist productions in Paris. 
His theory of drama was something he called the Manifesto of the Theatre of Cruelty. 
His own plays were flops, but his theories exerted great influence on playwrights of the Theatre of the Absurd. 
Lifelong mental illness confined him periodically to asylums from 1936.
Considered among the most influential figures in the evolution of modern drama theory, Antonin Artaud associated himself with Surrealist writers, artists, and experimental theater groups in Paris during the 1920s. When political differences resulted in his break from the Surrealists, he founded the Theatre Alfred Jarry with Roger Vitrac and Robert Aron. Together they hoped to create a forum for works that would radically change French theater. Artaud, especially, expressed disdain for Western theater of the day, panning the ordered plot and scripted language his contemporaries typically employed to convey ideas, and he recorded his ideas in such works as Le Theatre de la cruaute and The Theater and Its Double. Most critics believe that Artaud's most noted contribution to drama theory is his "theater of cruelty," an intense theatrical experience that combined elaborate props, magic tricks, special lighting, primitive gestures and articulations, and themes of rape, torture, and murder to shock the audience into confronting the base elements of life. Les Cenci, Artaud's play about a man who rapes his own daughter and is then murdered by men the girl hires to eliminate him, typifies Artaud's theater of cruelty. Les Cenci was produced in Paris in 1935 but was closed after seventeen dismal performances. Another example of Artaud's work is The Fountain of Blood, a farce about the creation of the world and its destruction by humans, especially women. Like many of Artaud's other plays, scenarios, and prose, Les Cenci and The Fountain of Blood were designed to challenge conventional, civilized values and bring out the natural, barbaric instincts Artaud felt lurked beneath the refined, human facade. Of The Fountain of Blood, Albert Bermel wrote in Artaud's Theater of Cruelty: "All in all, The Fountain of Blood is a tragic, repulsive, impassioned farce, a marvelous wellspring for speculation, and a unique contribution to the history of the drama." Although Artaud's theater of cruelty was not widely embraced, his ideas have been the subject of many essays on modern theater, and many writers continue to study Artaud's concepts. Author George E. Wellwarth, for example, in Drama Survey, explained the theater of cruelty as "the impersonal, mindless—and therefore implacable—cruelty to which all men are subject. The universe with its violent natural forces was cruel in Artaud's eyes, and this cruelty, he felt, was the one single most important fact of which man must be aware. . . . Artaud's theater must be ecstatic. It must crush and hypnotize the onlooker's sense." Another description of the theater of cruelty was offered by Wallace Fowlie in an essay published in Sewanee Review. Fowlie wrote: "A dramatic presentation should be an act of initiation during which the spectator will be awed and even terrified. . . . During that experience of terror or frenzy . . . the spectator will be in a position to understand a new set of truths, superhuman in quality." Artaud's creative abilities were developed, in part, as a means of therapy during the artist's many hospitalizations for mental illness. While being treated in a hospital by Edouard Toulouse, Artaud was encouraged to express himself in poetry, which Toulouse later published in the journal Demain. Artaud's life and his work, despite the efforts of psychotherapy, reflected his mental afflictions and were further complicated by his dependence on narcotics. At times he expressed faith in God; other times he denounced the Church and deified himself. He was also obsessed with the human body; he loathed the idea of sex and expressed a desire to separate himself from his sexual self. In Antonin Artaud: Man of Vision, author Bettina L. Knapp wrote of the theorist's mental illness: "Artaud was unable to adapt to life; he could not relate to others; he was not even certain of his own identity." Knapp commented that "Artaud was in essence constructing an entire metaphysical system around his sickness, or, if you will, entering the realm of the mystic via his own disease. The focal point of his universe was himself and everything radiated from him outward." Referring to Artaud's The Umbilicus of Limbo, Knapp indicated Artaud "intended to 'derange man,' to take people on a journey 'where they would never have consented to go.'" She further explained, "Since Artaud's ideas concerning the dramatic arts were born from his sickness, he looked upon the theater as a curative agent; a means whereby the individual could come to the theater to be dissected, split and cut open first, and then healed." Knapp also offered an explanation of Artaud's popularity long after his death: "In his time, he was a man alienated from his society, divided within himself, a victim of inner and outer forces beyond his control. . . . The tidal force of his imagination and the urgency of his therapeutic quest were disregarded and cast aside as the ravings of a madman. . . . Modern man can respond to Artaud now because they share so many psychological similarities and affinities." Similar words were issued in a Horizon essay by Sanche de Gramont, who wrote of Artaud: "If he was mad, he welcomed his madness. . . . To him the rational world was deficient; he welcomed the hallucinations that abolished reason and gave meaning to his alienation. He purposely placed himself outside the limits in which sanity and madness can be opposed, and gave himself up to a private world of magic and irrational visions." Artaud spent nine of his last eleven years confined in mental facilities but continued to write, producing some of his finest poetry during the final three years of his life, according to biographer Susan Sontag. "Not until the great outburst of writing in the period between 1945 and 1948 . . . did Artaud, by then indifferent to the idea of poetry as a closed lyric statement, find a long-breathed voice that was adequate to the range of his imaginative needs—a voice that was free of established forms and open-ended, like the poetry of [Ezra] Pound." However, Sontag, other biographers, and reviewers agree that Artaud's primary influence was on the theater. According to Sontag, Artaud "has had an impact so profound that the course of all recent serious theater in Western Europe and the Americas can be said to divide into two periods—before Artaud and after Artaud."

A. Artaud by Man Ray (1926)

Antonin Artaud's Hands by Man Ray (1922)

A nice summary of Antonin's life and principles of his "Theatre of Cruelty"

1993 - En compagnie d'Antonin Artaud (My Life and Times with Antonin Artaud) /w Eng. sub.

Monday, 7 January 2013

Tate Modern - A Tale of Two cities: William Klein and Daido Moriyama

Tate Modern is currently hosting quite of an interesting exhibitions on two of the most inspiring artists of the 20Th century.
William Klein and Daido Moriyama.

It explores the relations between the two artists and the two cities: New York and Tokyo.

Here are some of their photos that you might see (or you might not), at Tate Modern.

William Klein:

Daido Moriyama:

Saturday, 5 January 2013


This is my third post of this song, I truly apologise for the spam,
 but it's truly amazing how well this track depicts this NOW;
I wish he'll find that person that will make, for him, any efforts, effortless. 
Because this is what really makes the game, worth playing.

Light the smoke, play this OUT LOUD;
Let Jarboe and Gira lead you through the perfection that is this track.

Good night.

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

My Holy Trinity

I was trying to come up with one choice, only, 
for this entry and then I ended up being undecided.
I decided, then, to cover My Holy Trinity. 

Jan Saudek
Saudek's father was a Jew and this, coupled with his Slavic (Czech) heritage, caused his family to become a target of the Nazis. Many of his family members died in the Theresienstadt concentration camp during World War II. Jan and his brother Karel were held in a children's concentration camp for Mischlinge located near the present Polish-Czech border. His father Gustav was deported to ghetto Theresienstadt in February 1945. Both sons and father survived the war. According to Jan's biography got his first camera Kodak Baby Brownie in 1950. He apprenticed to a photographer and in 1952 started working as a print shop worker, where he worked until 1983. In 1959 he started using more advanced camera Flexaret 6x6, also engaged in painting and drawing. After completing his military service, he was inspired in 1963 by the exhibit catalogue of Steichen's Family of Man to try to become a serious art photographer. In 1969 he traveled to the United States and was encouraged in his work by curator Hugh Edwards. Returning to Prague, he was forced to work in a clandestine manner in a cellar, to avoid the attentions of the secret police, as his work turned to themes of personal erotic freedom, and used implicitly political symbols of corruption and innocence. From the late 1970s he gradually became recognised in the West as the leading Czech photographer, and also developed a following among photographers in his own country. In 1983 the first book on his work was published in the English-speaking world. The same year he finally becomes a freelance photographer as the Czech Communist authorities allowed him to cease working in the print shop, and gave him permission to apply for a permit to work as an artist. In 1987 the archives of his negatives were seized by the police, but later returned. Saudek currently lives and works in Prague.
He is mostly famous for his hand-tinted portrays.

Diane Arbus
(March 14, 1923 – July 26, 1971) was an American photographer and writer noted for black-and-white square photographs of "deviant and marginal people (dwarfs, giants, transgender people, nudists, circus performers) or of people whose normality seems ugly or surreal.". Diane believed that a camera could be “a little bit cold, a little bit harsh” but its scrutiny revealed the truth; the difference between what people wanted others to see and what they really did see – the flaws. A friend said that Arbus said that she was "afraid . . . that she would be known simply as 'the photographer of freaks'"; however, that phrase has been used repeatedly to describe her. In 1972, a year after she committed suicide, Arbus became the first American photographer to have photographs displayed at the Venice Biennale. Millions of people viewed traveling exhibitions of her work in 1972–1979. Between 2003 and 2006, Arbus and her work were the subjects of another major traveling exhibition, Diane Arbus Revelations. In 2006, the motion picture Fur, starring Nicole Kidman as Arbus, presented a fictional version of her life story.

Joel Peter Witkin
 (born September 13, 1939, in Brooklyn, New York City) is an American photographer who lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico. His work often deals with such themes as death, corpses (and sometimes dismembered portions thereof), and various outsiders such as dwarves, transsexuals, hermaphrodites, and physically deformed people. Witkin's complex tableaux often recall religious episodes or classical paintings.

Allow me a little personal footnote on this entry:
It is actually quite funny that all the three of the are connected to the most important memory of my past which is my ex girlfriend, who introduced me to the last two (coincidentally Witkin is one of her favourite artists too) and Saudek which we went to see the exhibition of in Prague, together. 
I will always be in debt to her for the passion in photography that she passed onto me and the encouragement she gave me when I decided I wanted to take pictures too, not just drool, on other's people work. 
She is still here, after 4 years, in the fibre of my day-to-day life. I will always admire and respect that woman and forever thankful the inspiration and encouragement that she offered me. 

Cadillac Records

Oh well, looks like i really did it.
It was actually quite painless and the neighbours (since the other neighbours called out landlord to complain) have been reasonable and not excessively noisy.
I have watched Cadillac Records, the story of Phil and Leonard Chess when they started the record label which produced artists like Muddy Waters, Etta James (played by Beyonce!) , Little Walter and Howlin' Wolf. .

A painless start of the year so far. 
Let's just hope in a more merciful 2014.
 I am really tired of shitty years full of illusions, false alarms and useless hopes.