Die geheimen Tageb├╝cher von einer verderbten Existenz

Behind these gates you will hear my thoughts screaming like nerves under the sun and feel my emotion laughing to the empty ether.
Welcome Dear Wanderer, make yourself at home.
The road is long and tortuous and I hope you enjoy yourself.

Fraternally Yours,
Poison Creeper

Monday, 26 December 2016

26 - XXVI - Twenty-six

26th, boxing day.
The exchange of those 'boxes' with surprises and goodies.



26+12+2016=11
Today's Card is XI - Lust
BA-BA-LON
Lust (or Strength, Fortitude, Lust for Life) is numbered eleven and is a card of spontaneity and enthusiasm. This is the card which gives us the strength and nourishment we need to get through.
We usually see a young innocent girl opening the jaws of a lion and peering in. She must be reasonably certain she can cope with the results of her actions! There is no sense of competition between the two. Here we see the literal meaning of the card - walking straight into the jaws of danger and relying upon our own experiences and quick-wittedness to see us through.
Lust tells us to joyously accept life - to trust ourselves to make the right choices and to be able to deal with whatever happens. With trust and self-belief we can grow and work towards happiness and fulfilment.

The Passion is the step into the second decade of the Major Arcana, the point where the journey into the inner depth begins. In other decks, this trump is called 'The Power', a symbol for the mastery of our own animal side. Crowley named the card 'Lust' - and most people don't really think of mastering their inner animal, but enjoy it full tilt...

In a combination of both, the animal side shouldn't be 'mastered' in the meaning of 'surpressed', nor should it be let out to 'romp around'. It should not be ignored, but accepted as a natural part of oneself. In that manner, one will not only be able to profit from its instinctive natural power, but also to save the power needed to 'master' it.

The Passion implies vitality, energy and power. The card tells us to use these riches. In most aspects of life, an endeavor will have much more success when passion is put into it.

Drive: Energy, passion, charisma, joy of life

Light: Power, vitality, unconditional devotion







Sunday, 25 December 2016

Caution, Prudence and Logic

 
1 - The Ace of Swords is the seed of the intellectual power, the origin and beginning of the airy world of Yetzirah, which implies thinking, analysing, realizing through logic and mind. 
So the card can stand for a first idea or realization, a new view of things, or simply tell us that we should let our mind work rather than following our emotions only.

2 - The Prince of Wands represents the Air within the Fire, intellect and storm within the spiritual flaming. As the son of the Queen, he bears a certain heritage of the waters inside of him, expressing in romantic beliefs and a most generous nature. The shadowy side, all his attributes can exaggerate to their worst, resulting in reckless destruction and even in cruelty and sadism. His impatience can mount into instability, always seeking for novelty without getting anything done, with all his powers burning out unused.

3 - For the Eight of Disks, the entering of Hod means a new beginning. The Disks have learned the lesson that Saturn has taught in the disastrous Seven, that everything needs time and consideration. Now here within Hod, the area of logic, the Eight of Disks develop prudence and patience. So the Eight of Disks have learned to be careful, take their time to overthink their steps, considerate all facts and patiently wait for their chances. They absolve an apprenticeship in their own field, trying to do it better and avoid the mistakes from earlier stages. 


Be logical, rational and prudent - the prince of wands is still there and it still can hurt, his recklessness and impatience is still what attracts me like the moth to the flame but it's also what slowly corrodes my confidence, dims my flames.
The light inside turns into a feeble dim glow hiding in the vena cava of my heart.

But I cannot deny my feelings. Hope goes last, they say.

It might be well scared, scarred and anxious, yes, but Love hasn't left.

Saturday, 24 December 2016

The Seven Of Wands

Seven Of Wands

I walked in the living room to find it laying on the floor, sideways, starting at me with its 7 rods.
 The message was clear: prepare for fight.


The fall from grace has offered me an open passage to Netzach through perpetuity, endurance and, lastly, Victory.

Standing up to adverse forces whilst gathering all my strength and knowledge, preparing for a fight.

Casting its shadow, I see The Ravens Of Dispersion, A'arab Zaraq.

Netzach is the sephirah 'victory', the ability of raw, emotional, passionate energy to overcome obstacles, but it needs to be balanced by Hod, the ability to rationalize and exercise a degree of self-control. If it is not balanced it becomes uncontrolled passion, desire, greed and covetousness, the dark side of Venus, which is unbridled lust.









Sunday, 18 December 2016

IO! Saturnalia!



It was a public holiday celebrated around December 25th in the family home. A time for feasting, goodwill, generosity to the poor, the exchange of gifts and the decoration of trees. But it wasn’t Christmas. This was Saturnalia, the pagan Roman winter solstice festival. But was Christmas, Western Christianity’s most popular festival, derived from the pagan Saturnalia?

The first-century AD poet Gaius Valerius Catullus described Saturnalia as ‘the best of times’: dress codes were relaxed, small gifts such as dolls, candles and caged birds were exchanged.

Saturnalia saw the inversion of social roles. The wealthy were expected to pay the month’s rent for those who couldn’t afford it, masters and slaves to swap clothes. Family households threw dice to determine who would become the temporary Saturnalian monarch. The poet Lucian of Samosata (AD 120-180) has the god Cronos (Saturn) say in his poem, Saturnalia:

‘During my week the serious is barred: no business allowed. Drinking and being drunk, noise and games of dice, appointing of kings and feasting of slaves, singing naked, clapping … an occasional ducking of corked faces in icy water – such are the functions over which I preside.’
Saturnalia originated as a farmer’s festival to mark the end of the autumn planting season in honour of Saturn (satus means sowing). Numerous archaeological sites from the Roman coastal province of Constantine, now in Algeria, demonstrate that the cult of Saturn survived there until the early third century AD.

Saturnalia grew in duration and moved to progressively later dates under the Roman period. During the reign of the Emperor Augustus (63 BC-AD 14), it was a two-day affair starting on December 17th. By the time Lucian described the festivities, it was a seven-day event. Changes to the Roman calendar moved the climax of Saturnalia to December 25th, around the time of the date of the winter solstice.

From as early as 217 BC there were public Saturnalia banquets. The Roman state cancelled executions and refrained from declaring war during the festival. Pagan Roman authorities tried to curtail Saturnalia; Emperor Caligula (AD 12-41) sought to restrict it to five days, with little success.

Emperor Domitian (AD 51-96) may have changed Saturnalia’s date to December 25th in an attempt to assert his authority. He curbed Saturnalia’s subversive tendencies by marking it with public events under his control. The poet Statius (AD 45- 95), in his poem Silvae, describes the lavish banquet and entertainments Domitian presided over, including games which opened with sweets, fruit and nuts showered on the crowd and featuring flights of flamingos released over Rome. Shows with fighting dwarves and female gladiators were illuminated, for the first time, into the night.

The conversion of Emperor Constantine to Christianity in AD 312 ended Roman persecution of Christians and began imperial patronage of the Christian churches. But Christianity did not become the Roman Empire’s official religion overnight. Dr David Gwynn, lecturer in ancient and late antique history at Royal Holloway, University of London, says that, alongside Christian and other pagan festivals, ‘the Saturnalia continued to be celebrated in the century afterward’.

The poet Ambrosius Theodosius Macrobius wrote another Saturnalia, describing a banquet of pagan literary celebrities in Rome during the festival. Classicists date the work to between AD 383 and 430, so it describes a Saturnalia alive and well under Christian emperors. The Christian calendar of Polemius Silvus, written around AD 449, mentions Saturnalia, recording that ‘it used to honour the god Saturn’. This suggests it had by then become just another popular carnival.

Christmas apparently started – like Saturnalia – in Rome, and spread to the eastern Mediterranean. The earliest known reference to it commemorating the birth of Christ on December 25th is in the Roman Philocalian calendar of AD 354. Provincial schisms soon resulted in different Christian calendars. The Orthodox Church in the Eastern (Byzantine) half of the Roman Empire fixed the date of Christmas at January 6th, commemorating simultaneously Christ’s birth, baptism and first miracle.

Saturnalia has a rival contender as the forerunner of Christmas: the festival of dies natalis solis invicti, ‘birthday of the unconquered sun’. The Philocalian calendar also states that December 25th was a Roman civil holiday honouring the cult of sol invicta. With its origins in Syria and the monotheistic cult of Mithras, sol invicta certainly has similarities to the worship of Jesus. The cult was introduced into the empire in AD 274 by Emperor Aurelian (214-275), who effectively made it a state religion, putting its emblem on Roman coins.

Sol invicta succeeded because of its ability to assimilate aspects of Jupiter and other deities into its figure of the Sun King, reflecting the absolute power of ‘divine’emperors. But despite efforts by later pagan emperors to control Saturnalia and absorb the festival into the official cult, the sol invicta ended up looking very much like the old Saturnalia. Constantine, the first Christian emperor, was brought up in the sol invicta cult, in what was by then already a predominantly monotheist empire: ‘It is therefore possible,’ says Dr Gwynn, ‘that Christmas was intended to replace this festival rather than Saturnalia.’

Gwynn concludes: ‘The majority of modern scholars would be reluctant to accept any close connection between the Saturnalia and the emergence of the Christian Christmas.’

Devout Christians will be reassured to learn that the date of Christmas may derive from concepts in Judaism that link the time of the deaths of prophets being linked to their conception or birth. From this, early ecclesiastical number-crunchers extrapolated that the nine months of Mary’s pregnancy following the Annunciation on March 25th would produce a December 25th date for the birth of Christ.